As we learned yesterday, relationships crash and burn more often than they work out. If you’re currently unsatisfied and thinking of making a change in your life, you should at least be able to enjoy yourself after ending it with your formerly loved one. Or at least make it memorable for the both of you. And since we’re always here to serve, we’ve rounded up some of the best places for you to end your relationship. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Eat, Greenpoint’s silent restaurant
Because after spending an entire meal seated across from each other, not talking, you’ll both leave the table feeling like this thing has run its course. Hey, it worked for our parents!Just hope you both don’t have to wait for the G together for an hour-plus.
Gowanus Canal
You can dump him with the rest of our shit
Brooklyn Boulders,
Because at least you wont’ leave her hangin’
The Gutter
So that you can tell friends you left him in the gutter, and then you can go bowling.
A Midtown sports bar on a Friday night
Because even after getting dumped, getting the hell out of there will seem like sweet relief.
TaskRabbit
Just get a Taskrabbit to do it for $20-45
During a tour of the Western Cultures Hall at the Natural History Museum
As you peruse the past of Egypt, Greece and Rome, you can whisper, “Wow, look at that ancient bow and arrow. It reminds me of us; Cupid brought us together, and now we’re history.”
On Meeker Street in Williamsburg
Because you’ve been dying to say: “It’s not you, it’s Meeker”
The Lower East Side Ecology Center E-waste warehouse
It’s the best place for you to leave her where someone else might find a new use for her.
The Red Hook IKEA
You’ll blend in with every other couple breaking up with each other.
DunWell Donuts
Because these amazing vegan donuts are your girlfriend now.
On the Barclays Center KissCam
Because you know with 18,000 witnesses that breakup will have to stick
At the Planetarium
Being around all those stars and planets reminds us all how small our lives and problems really are, which can help. And besides, they’re used to handling things going supernova there.
Times Square
That place is just a magnet for unpleasantness, so she should know it’s coming as soon as you suggest dinner at Bubba Gump’s.
The G train
Because you knew you were disappointed with his frequency and length of service anyway.
Any Starbucks
They’ve got a Valentine’s Day deal on coffees today. You can end it quickly over lattes and not damage your wallet (or heart) too badly.
Where would you end things with a no-longer-loved one?
Jokes provided by Sam Corbin, David Colon, Tim Donnelly, Melissa Kravitz, Eric Silver, and Cat Wolinski