Face it: if you haven’t yet figured out how to crest the stupefying tsunami that is New York rent on your own, you’re gonna have to contend with roommates. And I’m gonna tell Hillary Clinton that she should just live with Hilary Duff. Because they can be progressive Brooklyn moms together! Anyway, for those of us who aren’t future heads of state or working on Lizzie McGuire: the Rock Opera (unconfirmed), we’ve got a bunch of cheap spots for you to plan your spring renewal / next potluck.
Let’s get our the-most-the-merriest pad out of the way first: this 5-bedroom, 2.5-bathroom duplex in Bed-Stuy takes up the top two floors of a two-unit brownstone for just $4,000. And it’s no fee! It’s also got a washer/dryer in-unit (and you guys are all gonna fight over it on Sundays), and you’ll be this building’s first tenants! Why? Hint: it rhymes with Jay Leno. That’s right: gut reno. Off the Kosciuzko J.
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Scaling down a couple rooms but in the same nabe, we’ve got this Bed-Stuy 3-bedroom priced at $2,400. Kitchen amenities! Now, if I had a nickel for every time an apartment boasted a backsplash/granite countertop/stainless steel appliance combo…well, I’d have enough change to go to the deli and ask to turn it into quarters so I could do one load of laundry. Anyway, there’s also a living room and ample closet space. They want you to know that the bathroom is “spotless”—in case you were expecting it to be otherwise? Between the Kingston-Throop C and the Utica A/C.
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Chuggin’ on down the price/train lines, this 3-bedroom at the edge of Bushwick and Bed-Stuy is even more reasonable at an easy no-fee $2,195. “You’re welcomed with hardwood floors and great natural light.” Hey, it’s no dancing teapots, but we’ll take it! Dishwasher and washer/dryer combo, visibly in-unit as per the above. Between the Halsey and Chauncey stops off the J.
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And next door to that, you can score this no-fee 3-bedroom, 2-bathroom in Bushwick for even cheaper at $1,995! Who doesn’t love paying $665 in rent, right? Washer/dryer in-unit and a little living room. Since the two above apartments are so close to one another, this one’s price might have something to do with the size of the kitchen. It looks more like a kitchenette (albeit one with a dishwasher), so you probably can’t go full Fieri in it. Incidentally, if everyone’s down to pay more for an extra bathroom, there’s a listing for that, too. Off the Chauncey J, or the Bushwick-Aberdeen L.
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Okay, now we turn to places for the kind of people who can’t deal with more than one co-dependent at a time. If you’re one of those people, try on this 2-bedroom in Bed-Stuy for $1,700. Shockingly proximal to the train for this price. Don’t know much about the amenities, but the curtains have fun colors! There’s a skylight! And somewhere in there, you even have this weird Wonka room. Best of all, you’ll be next door to Trinidadian spot A&A, which houses one of Brooklyn’s best cheap eats (a huge doughy chickpea mess for $1.50). Breakfast, every day of the week. Off the Nostrand A/C.
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Bigger and cheaper, just the way we like it: this two-bedroom, two-bathroom is on the first floor of a place in Flatbush/Ditmas. At $1,600, the double bathroom is a pretty sweet deal. Comparable unit photos—because of renovations, probably—but they’re promising good things like queen-sized bedrooms and a “plethora” of possibilities for living arrangements. Between the two Church Av lines, B/Q/2/5.
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Last up—and cheap as anything—is this two-bedroom apartment in good old Bensonhurst. Renovated, top of a 3-floor walkup. Big ol’ windows, kitchen/living room combo and other fun stuff like cherry wood cabinets. Full disclosure, the description is kind of shady about the 2-bedroom thing: we can’t tell if the “office/den” is a third room, or the place that someone’s expected to sleep. But hey, head on over to see it, and we’ll keep our fingers crossed for you. Off the 71st St. D.