Drinking excessively is commonly seen as “bad for you” by “experts,” who we really know are just buzzkills. After all, if the Lord didn’t want us to drink eleven beers in a night, He wouldn’t made them so damn tasty. And now, science has finally come around to the side of the frequent partier: a newly published study found that patients with higher BAC levels were more likely to survive visits to the trauma center.
The UIC School of Public Health looked at data from almost 200,000 patients that were treated in Illinois trauma centers and tested for blood alcohol content, and found that increased levels of intoxication led to a 50 percent reduction in fatalities among patients with traumatic brain injuries, penetrating injuries, spinal cord injuries among other disasters. Though oddly enough, being drunk doesn’t help you out in the burn ward.
And while these scientists try to put the brakes on their own party-time study by noting that you need to survive long enough to make it into a specialized trauma unit, some of us on staff have direct experience with this very situation, having woken up on a stretcher in Bellevue with broken bones and a BAC just over the legal limit. So way to go science dudes, we always knew you were cool brahs deep down.
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OK, we'll put you in a room with 10 people who have just drank 10 beers and listen to them rant, scream and say ridiculous things -- if they don't start insulting each other and get into a fight -- and see how much YOU like it!