1. Hide from Jason Voorhees while getting a tattoo. (Friday)
2. Calypso! It’s uh, not actually a dance this time, but a reading. Still, calypso! (Friday, Saturday)
3. Go see Persepolis outdoors. The comic was soooo good, you guys. (Friday)
4. See great photos of Brooklyn’s hip hop stars. (Friday)
5. Come see Marty Markowitz add to his meme legacy at the opening of a pretzel factory. Will it be as good as a cracker factory? Only time will tell… (Saturday)
6. Grand Street, made famous by Matt & Kim, gets a block party. (Saturday)
7. Two things you shouldn’t do at the skint’s Bastille Day celebration: make jokes about Robespierre or French military ineptitude. Try just talking to people about Charles de Gaulle. (Saturday)
8. I’m a dust bowl refugee, just a dust bowl refugee, and kung fu master. David Carradine as Woody Guthrie, y’all. (Saturday)
9. Hey remember when you thought only white people went on Bed-Stuy bar crawls? Here’s another chance for you to be dead freaking wrong. (Saturday)
10. Food trucks everywhere. The fumes add to the flavor! (Sunday)
11. Find out how Walt Whitman was more than just a dude that Craig Finn pretended to be on that one Titus Andronicus album. (Sunday)
12. Pharoahe Monch is not only still alive, but he’s still rapping. Who knew? No, really, who knew that? (Sunday)
13. All, all, all, all meth everything. (Sunday)