Since quitting my museum job a month ago and starting a job at a coffee shop, my life has simplified considerably. No more getting screamed at by crowds of people in foreign languages, no more answering the same question 873 times a day, and no more hour-long peak-time commutes. The only down side: customers who require very special attention and behave badly when they don’t receive it. Trust me, we’re here for you soy macchiato drinkers; nobody sets out to be a bitchy barista. So how about you don’t do any of these things on your next coffee run?
1) Order an iced half-caf cappuccino and proceed to chat on your phone outside while I call out your dumb order over and over again for 10 minutes and then complain when you finally come back inside and your fussy drink is watery.
2) When asked what you want to eat/drink, begin to slowly read the menu out loud to yourself.
3) Ask me to turn off the music because you’re trying to have a business meeting.
4) Bring back your iced soy latte after the milk “curdles.” IT’S NOT ACTUALLY MILK! IT’S WATERY, COLD, BEAN SOUP!
5) Fail to read the sandwich menu properly and then tell me you’re allergic to cheese after said cheese has already been melted and the sandwich has been assembled.
6) Take someone else’s drink and put a ton of sugar and milk in it before realizing.
7) Tip your server with a fistful of coins.
8) Complain when your macchiato doesn’t look like the one from Starbucks.
9) Put a large lid on a small cup and then rage at me when you spill your drink down your shirt.
10) Stand at the counter when it’s busy, eyeing everyone’s food and drinks and asking when yours is going to be made because you’re in a hurry.
Did I miss anything? If you’re a food or drink server with a pet peeve, or a triple Americano drinker with a few thoughts for your local barista, lay it on us in the comments.
View Comments (29)
Back when I worked in service, the most grating thing for me was when patrons would stand waiting in long lines to order and then have no idea what they wanted when they finally reached the register. What were you thinking about during those 10 minutes in line???
Yes! Also I think that if people wait 20 minutes in a line, they should expect to wait at least that long for their food. Complaints about how long their breakfast is taking and how much of a hurry they're in always get to me, because it makes it clear that they believe their time/hunger/schedule is more important than everyone else's.
Old Lady: Can you double bag that as well?
Me: Mam, you have seven items and we're already up to six bags. Do you really need two more?
Old Lady: I CAN'T LET THE PEOPLE ON THE SUBWAY LOOK IN BY BAGS!
I know it's not coffee, but needed to be shared..
Thinking about you having loud arguments over double bagging with old ladies at your register makes me happy, i dont know why.
I argue exclusively with the elderly.
OMG so many things!
1. Attempt really intense eye contact while shoving dollar after dollar in the tip jar.
2. Tipping a penny, or holding up a long line to find exact change so that there is no possibility of you tipping.
3. tell me you want something on the menu but you want to pay less for it.
4. complain about the hours/prices as if I have any control over that
5. Order the cheapest thing on the menu sit at a four person table, spread your stuff everywhere and then stay for 6 hours.
6. tell me you are going to "keep it simple" then order a long list of the most complicated caveats.
7. stand at the counter and hold forth, lecturing me about whatever, and not letting anyone who is trying to order get around you until you finish whatever it is you have to say.
8. coming in and downloading two seasons of breaking bad, effectively slowing the wifi to a halt.
9. going through each menu item and asking how much it will cost with tax.
10. assuming that in addition to taking your money fixing your drink I want to be your best girlfriend, therapist, and babysit your unruly children. etc....
I could go on....
cosign all of this
honest question - leaving only the coins in the tip jar after getting change - bad form?
I think it depends on the cafe's tip policy. At my cafe, our registers are closed out by a third party, who calculate the tips, and whatever system they use often leaves a remainder of coins behind that are technically ours, but we are not allowed to take (I don't know why). On the other hand, if I'm running low on quarters, I pray there's a handful in the tip jar so I don't have to go back and get more out of the safe.
"Tip your server with a fistful of coins."
Right, because with all those registers in front of you it's so difficult to change it to bills before you go home at night.
yeah its pretty tricky, thanks for sympathising
Tell me how many shots are in each size of the espresso drink you ordered. Why don't you let me do my job, buddy.
"you guys should do pourover/french press/drip/siphon coffee"
"Um, do you guys have cold brewwww?"
meghan, i ask about cold brew because i'm obsessed with it. AHHHH i'm annoying!
(to meghan at the register) "can you put an egg on that?"
meghan: "no"
(to alison in the kitchen) "CAN YOU PUT AN EGG ON THAT?"
meghan: "still no"
Sorry, if I only have coins, I'm going to tip coins. Would you rather not have a tip at all? I hate having coins in my pocket and often times, those coins might add up to more than the dollar I'd otherwise give you.
Also, it would be nice to be acknowledged for tipping. I'm not looking for a handjob or anything but if busy bartenders can throw a "thanks" my way once in awhile, why not my barista? It's like they purposely look away when I throw the money in the tip jar.
Only thing I ever get from coffee shops is plain, black coffee. I assume a dollar plus my change is a sufficient tip.
Customer: "Can I have that latte extra-hot"
Me: "So, you want me to burn the milk? Okay"