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Steal beer money from your kids and other awesome parenting tips from Brooklyn writer dads

Just a couple of years ago, Matt Gross had the best job in the known universe. The New York Times sent him to pinch pennies the world over as its Frugal Traveler columnist. (OK, second best job after the “Really Expensive Traveler” gig.) Now he’s cashed in his drachmas for diaper duty, and lives in Boerum Hill with his wife Jean and daughter Sasha, blogging at DadWagon and hosting fatherhood-themed readings once a month at  Pacific Standard. There’s one tomorrow night, where you can find out what literary breeders get up to while their wives are up to no good. But first, some cheapskate tips from the dudes of DadWagon:

• The butchers at Paisanos (162 Smith St. between Bergen & Wyckoff) hand out free lollipops to kids. Use your child’s sugar addiction to justify buying dry-aged ribeye steaks several times a week. Luckily, Paisanos has great prices.*

• Staten Island Ferry. Free boat. Beer for sale. If you close your eyes, you can imagine it’s an actual summertime activity, instead of a sorry commute to an island nobody wants to be on.

• Jane’s Carousel, in Brooklyn Bridge Park, is only $2 for you and your kid. Afterwards, buy tacos from the Calexico truck and head to the little beach to hit on the bridesmaids coming down for their wedding party pictures.

• Have your young child start a piggy bank. When it gets nearly full, use some of the money to buy beer for yourself. The kid will likely never know; the way NYC schools are these days, the kid probably can’t even count. If the child does find out, call it a “tax” and blame Bloomberg.

• Start a fatherhood-themed reading series at a bar you like. Then invite your friends as speakers and enjoy free drinks on the house. Repeat each month until the bar’s owners catch on.

* Editor’s note: Also, Paisanos is near  Cobble Hill Cinemas, where movie tickets are $7  for kids, “except special engagements, 3D engagements and holidays, and except the first 2 weeks of any Sony Pictures first run release.” (?) Adults can also get $7 tickets before 5 Monday through Friday, or all day Tuesdays and Thursdays; same exclusions apply.

Faye :Faye Penn is the founder of Brokelyn and publisher of the Brooklyn and Queens Beer Books, the Brooklyn Cocktail Book and other stuff you ain't seen yet. She lives in Ditmas Park. Get at her at brokelyn@gmail.com

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