1. Saw Her Stand Up There is the all-female standup comedy show the world needs, especially when it features funny ladies like Sue Smith and Anna Drezen (Monday)
2. Liza Monroy, who was a featured reader at the very first Franklin Park Reading Series, is coming back with a tale of her green card marriage (Monday)
3. BK foodists like Shamus Jones of Brooklyn Brine and Daric Schlesselman of Van Brunt Stillhouse will be talking the indie food scene in Brooklyn at panel discussion BKLYN Artisanal Army at BRIC (Tuesday)
4. Want to go to a dance party after work with cheap drinks and DJs controlling the music who just like music but aren’t professional DJs? Then go to Cameo Gallery’s Body Party (Tuesday)
5. Masters of Social Gastronomy cover the history of chocolate at Littlefield. You’ll have to wait for a different group to cover the history of White Chocolate, sadly (Tuesday)
6. Need some laughs because Tuesday is the one day of the week that doesn’t really have an identity? Head to Sweet Science for their comedy show. Bring your beer book! (Tuesday)
7. Cobble Hill variety show Backfat is uh, back, and they think there’s a little bit of Backfat inside all of us. There can be anyway, but only if you want some, girl (Tuesday)
8. Ever wanted to learn the history of Soul Trainnnnnnn? Well now you cannnnnn as author Nelson George does a talk on his book about the dance show/cultural institution (Wednesday)
9. See people’s brainwaves displayed to you while they do the tango at the Cantina Royal. Or don’t, because obviously you can do that pretty much any day around here, right? (Wednesday)
10. Welcome beer garden/bottle shop Coven Hoven to Brooklyn at their grand opening party, or they might just put a hex on you (Wednesday)
11. Talk revolution at BookCourt, but a very cultured revolution, with Lewis Lapham and Thomas Frank (Thursday)
12. How has feminism had an impact on contemporary art? You’ll only know the answer to that question if you attend a discussion on that very subject at the Brooklyn Museum (Thursday)
13. If your real life job at a women’s magazine isn’t stressful enough, go to the book release for Pretty in Ink, Lindsey Palmer’s satire of the industry she’s spent seven years in (Thursday)
14. Legion Bar’s Heavy Metal Laser Plane is celebrating one year of telling jokes and giving away stuff from the Village Voice mailroom (Friday)
15. Parker Posey learns the value of the Dewey Decimal system and how it can be a replacement for her wild lifestyle in a screening of Party Girl at Videology (Friday)
16. Gary Shteyngart will be popping in to Late Night Basement, but since it’s a comedy show, will presumably share super funny true stories as opposed to super sad ones (Friday)
17. Head On is pitting Michael Jackson against Daft Punk in a battle for dance floor supremacy at the Bell House that might actually result in physical violence between their funk partisans (Friday)