Quit UCB; get a puppet

Two of the top 10 highest earning comedians of 2013 are ventriloquists, according to Forbes. No. 2 (that’s the second highest, as in right below Jerry Seinfeld) is Terry Fator, who made $24 million doll hairs this year; No. 4 is Jeff Dunham, who made $19 million proving that racism doesn’t count when your hand says it. The guy at No. 5, btw, is some schlub who presently has zero puppets in his act, and therefore is a failure. Do with this information what you will. [Via Kaitlin McGlynn.]