1. Get weird and finally have something to talk about with your boomer parents afterwards by going to psychedelic music night PSYCH OUT at Coco66 (Friday)
2. See 25 musical performers in different genres try to impress you, then vote on which one should get to do a full concert this fall at Spoke the Hub’s Winter Follies. Don’t screw your vote up (Friday)
3. Have a kiki at Littlefield to benefit LGBTQ youth, with Ana Matronic of the Scissor Sisters and JD Samson & MEN. A kiki is a party, just more uh, fabulous (Friday)
4. Unleash your funk animal inside of you at Release the Beast, a funk and soul DJ night at The Grand Victory (Friday)
5. The Dram Shop is celebrating six years of alcohol purveyance all weekend, with t-shirt and pint giveaways, cheap burgers and more (Friday – Sunday)
6. Go skiing with folks from The Diamond, and/or sign up to enter their mac and cheese competition at the bar after the skiing. Either choice you make, just be sure to dominate the competition (Saturday)
7. Combine yoga and D&D together into one incredibly strange-sounding thing at Launchpad that is basically on the outer edge of the “too weird to exist” spectrum (Saturday)
8. Finally answer the nagging question of how much chili you can eat in a day by going around sampling a bunch of people’s homemade chili at the South 4th Bar’s 6th Annual Chili Cookoff (Saturday)
9. You’ve gotten acupuncture before, but hear us out: have you ever gotten acupuncture on your ear? Well, now you can knock that one off your bucket list, if it was inexplicably on there (Saturday)
10. Learn about the joys of Ghanian cuisine by taking a long and arduous trip…on the L train, to Bushwick (Saturday)
11. Help fund the Gowanus Canal Conservancy and enjoy some music, some food, some beer and some auctions (like on Mets tickets. Get the Mets tickets) at their annual benefit, Antifreeze (Saturday)
12. Catch an outdoor screening of The Shining in the thirty degree weather at the Morgan Underground. Don’t mind me, I’ll just be talking about how Alaska was colder, no big deal (Saturday)
13. Live through the wonder and horror of marriage at a screening of The Romney Years, a locally-made psychotic comedy about a backwoods shotgun wedding and its attendant bachelor party (Saturday)
14. Brooklyn Brewery is releasing a new beer, Wild Streak, and they want you to drag your ass out of bed on a Sunday and come try it with them (Sunday)
15. Freddy’s Obsolete Cinema is going back in time, way farther than the era of VHS with a double feature of movies about prehistoric life, Quest for Fire and Caveman (Sunday)
16. Sure you’re not going to Sochi (why would you, what with the terrorism), but that just leaves you time to win local video game competition Our Princess is in Another Castle’s Winter MARIOlympics (Sunday)
17. Humor reading series Animal Farm is giving it another shot after getting canceled by the snow storm Tuesday, so you’ve got another chance to see Tom Scocca talk smarm (Sunday)
18. Go on a journey through Moth host Peter Aguero’s Daddy Issues at the Bell House, and finally realize your own childhood wasn’t so bad, you ingrate (Sunday)
19. Love dinosaurs? Then of course you’re gonna love the 100% DINO PARTY at the Silent Barn. Lukewarm on dinosaurs? You’ll still probably have fun (Sunday)