Pee-brained thief stealing urinal splash guards from Banter

So, as we’ve gone over before, we love Williamsburg’s Banter. Love it. But there’s someone out there who loves the bar a whole lot more than we do. Or maybe they don’t love it, because they’ve been stealing from it. Stealing from the bathroom. Stealing splash guards from the urinal. Well alright then.

The Daily News talked to Chris Keller, Banter’s owner, who says that the smelly-fingered thieves have made off with two of the soccer-themed splash guards, which to be honest, look kind of cool. Except that they’re COVERED IN PEE YOU LUNATICS. We have to admit that this seems to take more planning than stealing a really cool pint glass from the bar, or at least that’s what we hope is going on. Because you wouldn’t just grab something out of the toilet and shove it in your pocket, right? Please agree with us. Anyway, we hope for the sake of the bartenders at Banter that the thieves are at least washing their hands before handing over money for another drink.