Quit smoking with free help from the city

Smoking is the actual worst, but this is ‘merica and you have the right to expensively kill yourself all over this star-spangled land as much as you like. You don’t need me to be your PSA to tell you how much quitting saves you money on packs and health care, but if you are considering giving up, the city wants to help: through March 16, the NYC Quits program is giving out free nicotine patches and nicotine gum to help you ditch the habit. You have to fill out a short survey online first, and then wait a week to see if you qualify, which you’re on your own to figure out, since I don’t smoke. If you give them your phone number, they might even send you encouraging text messages too. Or maybe they’ll just sext you pictures.