Luxury hotel Marmara Park Avenue pitching rooms as ‘authentic NYC apartments’

You know how it is when you move to New York City. You call your friends and family back home in Topeka, Iowa or wherever you’re from and they drawl into the phone and ask if your apartment is JUST like the one from Sex in the City or Seinfeld or Girls or The Parent ‘Hood. It’s what people who don’t know any better expect when they come to New York, so of course a new hotel in Manhattan, the Marmara Park Avenue, is pitching themselves as a chance to stay in a real New York apartment. Just, you know, without any of the bad stuff.

See, your stay at the Marmara will be different from a normal hotel because instead of the check-in area having a desk, it’ll have a two desks, as every entrance to New York apartment buildings have. The room will have things like kitchens, which sources confirm are in fact a part of NYC apartments, as well as living rooms and studio, one-, two- and three-bedroom layouts, which is a also definitely an apartment characteristic.

Of course, there’s no word yet on whether those kitchens will have cabinet doors that your super inexplicably tells you he doesn’t know how to fix, so when one falls off it’s just done. Or whether guests will be able to choose their roommates in three-bedrooms or if they’ll just have to get some off of Craigslist and hope for the best. We’re also guessing you won’t see tiny little roach babies run in your apartment. The one thing we can count on that actually makes this authentic is that if it’s successful, the rate to rent a room will double within the first 2 months of its existence.