1. The only rule about honky tonk is that you have to chew tobacco while listening to it. (Monday)
2. If you go see Amy Sohn, do us a favor and tell us none of us have gotten laid, by Park Slope moms anyway, despite our personal appeal. (Monday)
3. Or you can go see Brooklyn’s newest literary transplant, Martin Amis, release his new book at Book Court. (Monday)
4. You walk to get beer, so why not walk to get peace? (Tuesday)
5. You have a second chance to see The Usual Suspects. It’s like some kind of miracle out of a movie. (Tuesday)
6. Should you go see the very funny Kate Berlant at Tuesday Night Fever? Does the pope shit on a bear? Nailed it. (Tuesday)
7. Emily Books turns one. Before you know it she’ll be stealing cigarettes from your purse, coming home with blue hair and reeking of vodka, so really relish these moments. (Wednesday)
8. Go see if show and tell is still cute when adults do it. (Wednesday)
9. Here’s some advice you won’t get at this financial literacy course: be so central to the national economy that you can get a billion dollars from the government if things go wrong. (Thursday)
10. DUMBO Comedy fortunately has nothing to do with the elephant. Have you ever seen that guy’s set? Learn to tell a joke, man. (Thursday)
11. Turns out that Karaoke Killed the Cat is a better name for an event than an excuse as to why your roommate’s cat is dead. Now they tell us. (Friday)