1. Check out some jazz at Sycamore and while you’re there, buy a nice young lady some flowers. Wait, is it 2012 or 1922? (Monday)
2. Pete Hammil kicks off events at powerHouse’s new Park Slope location with a reading. Apparently their store used to be an ice cream shop he’d hide in to ditch church, so keep your head on a swivel for angry nuns. (Tuesday)
3. The Society for the Advancement of Social Studies explores Judaism, Scientology and Christianity. So again, look out for angry nuns. (Tuesday)
4. Satirical writing group Animal Farm celebrates Saturnalia, so if you’ve been looking for somewhere to explore godless paganism, there you go. (Tuesday)
5. The Transit Museum is hosting a talk on how to better prepare the transit system for another hurricane. Our solution: BOMB THE OCEAN. (Wednesday)
6. WORD brings some romance writers over to explain everything you’ve always wanted to know about heaving bosoms and ravishing. (Wednesday)
7. Indie rock live band karaoke! Finally hang out with some people in Brooklyn who really like Pavement. (Wednesday)
8. Canceled in the wake of Sandy, Sapphire finally sits down to explain how to become a fabulously wealthy writer without embracing the dark arts. Or maybe that’s here advice, who knows? (Thursday)
9. It’s the last First Thursday in DUMBO of the year. And the last ever if you’re one of those 2012 lunatics. (Thursday)
10. A multilingual poetry slam gives you the chance to use your horrible “cunning linguist” pickup line in more than one language. (Friday)
11. Most people go to hotel rooms to sleep/have discreet sexual encounters. Artists just see them as another canvas, which is why we love them. (Friday)