1. Want to do Bushwick Open Studios but don’t want to stare at art? Brooklyn Fireproof has a musical showcase so you can still appear in touch with culture. Yay! (Friday)
2. Check out a one-man show about Birthright, which for the uninitiated is a free trip to Israel for Jewish 20 soemthings so they can get drunk and hookup. Oh, and appreciate their culture or something (Friday)
3. While everyone is busy clogging up Bushwick studios, why not head down to a Red Hook and Carroll Gardens artwalk? You’ll have the art all to yourself (Saturday)
4. Also going down in Red Hook? The Red Hook Fest! Read all about it here (Saturday)
5. Did you sign up for the South 4th Bar Super Olympics yet? How else are are you going to be crowned the best drinker in Brooklyn? (Saturday)
6. Got important documents you need shredded? Who are you, the CIA? Well, you can shred them for free in Ditmas Park (Saturday)
7. See some robots at the World Innovation Square at MetroTech Center (Saturday)
8. It’s 3rd Ward’s seventh birthday, and they’re having a barbecue! Get it something age-appropriate, like a Power Wheels (Saturday)
9. Gristle is helping raise some money to help protect endangered wolf species with an art auction and wolf-themed tattoos. Also, a LIVE GODDAMN WOLF will be in attendance (Saturday)
10. Mondo heads to the Bell House, and you should too, unless you hate fun and dancing and everything good and pure in the world (Saturday)
11. The World Science Festival invites you to hang out and stare at some stars in Brooklyn Bridge Park (Saturday)
12. Hit up a vegan cookoff that’s focused on hors d’oeuvres, so long as you’re OK with cruelty to tempeh (Sunday)
13. Let’s Get Pregnant with Comedy has not one, but TWO members of Showgirls: The Musical doing standup at Hank’s, so expect plenty of camp. Or just laughs, laughs are good too (Sunday)
14. Prove your nerd mettle and show you know a shameful amount about the Daredevil movie at Pork Slope’s comic book trivia, focusing on superhero movies this time (Sunday)