1. See a talk on war, and how it’s hell, from the survivors’ points of view at Perspective Talks: Brooklyn for Peace at the Brooklyn Museum (Friday)
2. The Bloomberg years are done, so now you know that Big Gulp Comedy is really gonna cut loose, because they feel as safe as ever (Friday)
3. Dave Hill and Valley Lodge are welcoming you and Har Mar Superstar to meet him in the bathroom and tell him all your secrets, and that’s as good a thing to do on a Friday night as any (Friday)
4. Getting married soon and don’t want to have a lame wedding? Check out Lovesick, at the Music Hall of Williamsburg, for a wedding expo that isn’t completely fucking lame (Saturday)
5. Take some free sewing lessons at Brooklyn Launchpad, because you never know when that favorite pair of jeans of yours will succumb to a tear too large to ignore (Saturday)
6. Get a sneak peek at TEDxGowanus, and a tour of Gowanus from one of it’s speakers, if you’re in to the whole listening to people talk thing (Saturday)
7. Do some duct tape crafting at BookCourt with expert on the subject Richela Fabian Morgan, because you need a new duct tape wallet but you forget how to make it exactly (Saturday)
8. Use those Mario Kart skills you picked up in high school to impress people at a Mario Kart tournament at The Diamond. Because they probably won’t be impressed by the rest of your high school life (Saturday)
9. Women can take a free self-defense class, and they may as well, because the world is an especially terrible place for them (Saturday)
10. Geek out over 80s geek trivia at Freddy’s, and finally have a reason for knowing such a creepy amount of stuff about Labyrinth (Saturday)
11. It’s always a good decision to see a screening of Back to the Future, and it’s an even better idea when there are spiked ice cream floats as part of the deal (Saturday)
12. Get a lecture, a story, music and comedy all at one event that will probably be smarter than you think, at Jamboree of the Moron (Saturday)
13. See soul legend Darrow Fletcher in his second appearance in New York in 45 years, when he struts at Littlefield, because you won’t want to brave the cold when he comes back in another 45 years (Saturday)
14. Mondo is exploring the year in pop music for their latest dance party at Cameo, so you’ve got on last chance to relive 2013. But let it go after this, it’s getting a little weird (Saturday)
15. Or you can try to use your dancing to win $100 at DJ Jonathan Toubin’s Soul Clap and Dance-Off at Brooklyn Bowl (Saturday)
16. If you’re bored with regular zombies, Spectacle Theatre has long-haired, guitar-playing, Hitler-killing Hard Rock Zombies for you. Which is a thing you probably haven’t seen before (Saturday)
17. Go see some art at Brooklyn Launchpad to benefit survivors of Typhoon Haiyan. It’s probably the most passive way you can help out (Sunday)
18. Bring your Christmas gifts you got and didn’t like to Mission Dolores and you can trade them for ones that other people didn’t like but you might, at The Great Mission Dolores Re-Gift (Sunday)
19. Rockabilly troublemakers Jumbo Brown are bringing their songs about drinkin’ and debauchery to Skinny Dennis for what should no doubt be a restrained and low-key performance (Sunday)
20. Videology is hosting a Golden Globes party hosted by comedian Maggie Ross, and there’ll be prizes, trivia, drink specials and red carpet, in addition to you getting to watch the show on TV and not on your Twitter feed (Sunday)