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    Categories: News

Freelancers, put on your pants!

Are you wearing any pants right now? If you’re freelance, unemployed or unemployed and you’ve fallen into the no-pants trap, today’s newly declared holiday is for you. Over at ASSME (the American Society of Shitcanned Media Elite), blogger Sheila has declared it First Annual Freelancers Put on Your Pants Day in a post that sounds like the beginning of a hot phone-sex convo:

I’m not wearing any pants right now–and chances are, if you’re reading this website, you aren’t either. While this is somewhat of a longstanding personal habit, being jobless and rattling around the apartment all day wearing my boyfriend’s oversized button-down shirt is making me feel like a drunken landlady.

So what’s the solution? The bottomless scribe urges all afflicted to make an effort today to dress like you’re going to an office, even if you’re just sitting in the living room:

Nice shorts and skirts OK too, but NO boxers or pajamas–you must wear clothes that you could actually go to a job in. (Send in pics if you want!). . . This will give everyone an extra shot of self-esteem and aura of respectability as we continue our job hunting. It’ll make us all feel better.

All the attention will probably make your neglected pants feel better too. Find out more about this brilliant new holiday here. And you know what pants look really great with? Farrah hair!

Faye :Faye Penn is the founder of Brokelyn and publisher of the Brooklyn and Queens Beer Books, the Brooklyn Cocktail Book and other stuff you ain't seen yet. She lives in Ditmas Park. Get at her at brokelyn@gmail.com