Fake your way through Stephen King, and 15 more free ways to avoid reading this week

1. Do some thinking and talking about race with Brooklyn Public Philosophers as they discuss W.E.B. DuBois and Brown vs. Board of Education. (Monday)

2. Hear comics angrily growl “and let me tell you” at Antagonist Storytelling Show (or ASS, naturally) at Over the Eight. (Monday)

3. Alcohol and strong opinions are always a great mix, so join Allen McDuffee and John Flowers as they break down the 2016 elections at Politics and Pints. (Monday)

4. See some short films you won’t want to throw away at Disposable Film Festival at Videology. (Monday)

5. Supporting women-run businesses and treating yo self counts as the noblest of multitasking, so support local vendors at Womeneur’s Launch and Shopping Soiree. (Tuesday)

6. Ugly Duckling Presse is bringing Kate Colby, Andrew Maxwell, and Simone White to the Brooklyn Public Library to share their tales of swanhood. (Tuesday)

7. Get sleek copywriting tips from New Yorker veteran Mary Norris at BookCourt. (Tuesday)

8. It’s not swimsuit season quite yet, so embrace the Backfat Comedy at 61 Local with Josh Gondelman and Ross Hyzer. (Tuesday)

9. Spend an evening talking with some masters of zombie fiction at WORD, just in case you have to done day survive a scenario like the one they wrote about. (Wednesday)

10. Simmons McDavid and Blair Socci are brining the laughs and complaints to Bitches Brew at Lucey’s Lounge. (Wednesday)

11. The Beerded Ladies are taking over Threes Brewing to for a couple girl power hours with Sisters in Craft. (Thursday)

12. You’ve probably BSed your way through many a book club meeting, so hear comics do that for Stephen King novels at the first live recording of Let’s Read Together. (Thursday)

13. Learn all about New York’s glorious punk rock past and its weird dystopian future when Akashic Press brings three authors on the subject to Greenlight Books. (Thursday)

14. Welcome some Midwesterners to the city as Illinois’ Two Brothers Brewery takes over Covenhoven. (Friday)

15. Embrace the fact that you secretly like country music and hear Uncle Leon and the Alibis cover all the songs you low-key love at Hank’s Saloon. (Thursday)

16. Hear Fuller House the way it really should have gone down, with DJ and Kimmy as casino robbing fugitives, at Videology’s Late Night TV. (Friday)