1. No matter your feelings on the loviest holiday, we can all agree: your ex was the worst. Head to Syndicated for an Erase Your Ex Double-Feature of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. (Friday & Saturday, Syndicated, $5)
2. Get fit while finding—or rejecting!—love at Just Friends: The Chillest Valentine’s at a climbing gym, with live music, chocolates, and tandem climbing routes. (Friday, Brooklyn Boulders, $22)
3. Turn the love outward at the Bushwick Love Party, a charity fundraiser and kickin’ dance party with DJ sets by Chew-Fu, DJ Pony, and ILLspokinn. Proceeds go, via the 108 Lives Project, to earthquake sufferers in Phulping, Nepal. (Friday, Fine & Raw, $15)
4. Get melodic at Love Every Note’s Anti-Valentine’s Show, with classical, jazz, and electronic tunes from Body Bag, Tilted Arc, and many more. (Friday, Scholes Street Studio, $5–$10 suggested)
5. Say screw it to all that romantic shit at It’s Friday I’m (Not) in Love, a mopey dance party presented by our pals at the skint, featuring depressing tunes from DJ Gordon Gloom, cheap drinks, and dark surprises. (Friday, Littlefield, $5)
6. Celebrate six meatless years of the Vegan Shop-Up at their cruelty-free Valentine’s market—arrive early for free goody bags. (Saturday, Pine Box Rock Shop, FREE)
7. Boogie down in the afternoon at the Bootleggers Tea Party, presented by our buds at Brooklyn Based, featuring Baby Soda Jazz Band and Tribute String Quartet, plus complimentary snacks and chocolate. (Saturday, The Landing, FREE)
8. Go back in time at the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance Party, with ’50s tunes by Marvin Berry & the Starlighters, and an extended happy hour sponsored by Reyka Vodka and Sixpoint Brewery. (Saturday, Videology, $22)
9. Grab the ladies and celebrate Galentine’s Day, an evening of drinks, salacious conversation, and book-matchmaking with romance novelists Megan Frampton, Sarah MacLean, Maya Rodale, Tessa Bailey, and Zoraida Córdova. (Saturday, Villain, $10)
10. Show that love is a sham at Let Me Break You Up, an anti-dating game show where the couple with the fewest points at the end wins…a breakup. (Saturday, Pete’s Candy Store, $5)
11. Embrace love’s darker side with the Exquisite Corpse Company’s Black Box: Eat Y’er Heart Out, featuring burlesque, acrobatics, live music, and more. (Saturday, Kymberle Project, $20)
12. Treat your cherie to a sultry evening at Meet Me in Paris: A Clandestine Cabaret, with vintage tunes by Myriam Phiro & the Cavaliers of Swing, risqué burlesque and variety acts, magic, tarot readings, and surprises. Costumes required. (Saturday, Gemini & Scorpio Loft, $20)
13. Get galactically glam at Rubulad’s Scrumptious Sweethearts of the Stratosphere, featuring rock & roll burlesque from the Maine Attraction and Julie Atlas Muz, tunes by Funkrust Brass Band, a light circus, a flirtatious photobooth, and lots more. (Saturday, secret location, $20)
14. Go wild at Be Cute Be Mine, a bangin’ queer dance party brought to you by Matty Horrorchata and the Bushwig babes, with the likes of Merkin Muffley, Untitled Queen, Patti Spliff, Merrie Cherry. (Saturday, Littlefield, $5)
15. Start your V Day off by listening to—and singing!—the best breakup songs at Heartbreak Hotel Piano Karaoke Brunch. (Sunday, Manhattan Inn, FREE)
16. Or dispense with brunch and just start drinking early at the Whiskey Wars Factory Tour in the Brooklyn Navy Yard, a tour and tasting of whiskey scandals past and present. (Sunday, BLDG 92, $15)
17. Re-conceive your notions of love with the Bechdel Project’s Romance Remade, an interactive workshop looking at the many ways love stories are told in our culture. (Sunday, South Oxford Space, $10)
18. Want something that has absolutely nothing to do with Valentine’s Day? Head to Pioneer Works’ Second Sunday to look at art, dance to some music, listen to talks, witness “artistic interventions,” and more. (Sunday, Pioneer Works, FREE)
19. Take in a whole bunch of fab bands at New York Night Train’s annual PPNYC benefit concert Village of Love, with Mac DeMarco, Boss Hog, Kevin Morby, Skaters, and many more. (Sunday, Music Hall of Williamsburg, $20)
20. Cheer on some great gals at The V Word, a variety show for girls who like girls, featuring Brainfreeze, Morgan Cohn, Lindsay Boling, and the Nighttime Adventure Society. (Sunday, Palisades, $7)