Despite the fact that people are always telling you otherwise, wifi is not like The Force. It’s not an energy field created by all living things that surrounds us and penetrates us, and it doesn’t bind the galaxy together. Someone has to provide it if you want some, but the good news is that according to a press relase, someone is going to provide free wifi at East River State Park from now on, so if you want to work there or really quickly ‘gram some Smorgasburg food, you can do that now.
According to the release, the free wifi is another one of those fancy public/private partnerships, with the equipment for the East River State Park wifi coming from Toyota. The wifi name is called “Oh, Ranger!” and is up and running and free as of today. Which is kind of a lame name but on the other hand is definitely a better name than when your neighbor names his unprotected wifi “Child Massacre Party Club” or some other thing you wouldn’t be caught dead connecting to. Anyway, why are you still reading this? Go work in the park, it’s summer and there’s free wifi surrounding us, penetrating us, binding the galaxy together.