Cruisin’ for free stuff to do this week? We’ve got you Kilmered. Er, covered

1. We gave you all these great things to do for Jamaican independence day, but all your red, yellow and green pants are the dry cleaners. How embarrassing. (Monday)

2. “Ghost Protocol” is also a series of steps to disappear yourself if you accidentally get a girl pregnant. (Monday)

3. The first Punderdome in the post-Black Punther era means that anyone can win. You still have to be good at puns though. (Tuesday)

4. Wonderful comedians, terrible ninjas. Those make good odds for a fun night out AND winning a fight. (Tuesday)

5. Swap some books and maybe you’ll end up swapping spit. (Wednesday)

6. The most homoerotic movie of all time, outside of “Ass Assassins 27” comes to McCarren Park. (Wednesday)

7. You know the old saying: “Unlucky at love, lucky at trivia.” (Wednesday)

8. The biggest advantage to raising chickens instead of children? There’s no such thing as “Chicken Protective Services.” (Thursday)

9. Now that you’re finally an adult, yes, you can have class outside. (Thursday)

10. Ain’t no party like a tattoo party cause a tattoo party has needles. (Friday)