The Brokelyn High Homecoming Dance is TONIGHT!

Five years ago, Mike Bloomberg was still just a two-term mayor, mayonnaise didn’t have its own artisanal store, 285 Kent hadn’t even opened (or closed) yet and The New York Times only mentioned Lena Dunham in 1 out of 10 stories, as opposed to 1 in 3 stories. Also in that long-ago Brooklyn era, a new site called Brokelyn crawled onto the blogging shores. And my how we’ve grown since then (thanks to our great readers).

We’ve spent five years helping you live big on small change, from basic DIY tips, hot scoops and hot takes to stuff that just helps make you a better Brooklynite. So let’s celebrate! In honor of our blogging adolescence, we’re taking you back to high school for a big party at the Bell House THIS THURSDAY: Brokelyn High Homecoming. We’ve got dancing, games, prizes, comedians, the Hungry March Band, a photobooth and a raffle, featuring a BRAND NEW BIKE!!

Join us and principal (aka host) Scott Rogowsky (of Running Late)  for a night of dancing, awkward school photos, games, comedy, music, and a sweet raffle featuring hundreds of dollars in prizes from around Brooklyn, including A BRAND NEW BIKE FROM Ride Brooklyn!! Also featuring special guest homecoming committee member Danny Tamberelli (of Manboobs Comedy and Little Pete from Nickelodeon’s “The Adventures of Pete and Pete!”)

Homecoming activities include:
-Drinking $1 beers courtesy of Brooklyn Brewery from 7:30pm until supplies run out
-Hang with the rad ladies from Golly Magazine, our official sponsor
-Shaking your body to classic school dance tunes with DJ Brian Blackout (You Don’t Have to Settle, Head On)
-A Brooklyn words spelling bee (with prizes!)
-The Hot for Teacher dance off (also with prizes!)
-Crowning the gender-neutral Brokecoming king and queen (with crowns!)
-Free awkward high school pictures from the fine folks at ShootBooth

And even though it’s our birthday, we want to give YOU presents, so the Best of Brooklyn raffle will include:

-a $550 brand new Schwinn coffee or cream bike from Ride Brooklyn
-a $928 annual membership to Brooklyn Boulders
-a $500 pan from BK Kitchen
-a $250 couples vibrator from WeVibe
-a $228 media class package from BRIC
-a $185 messenger bag from Vaya Bags
-a $165, 12-class yoga package from Greenhouse Holistic
-$160 gift certificate for haircuts for two at Headchop in Williamsburg
-a $135 new helmet and a tune up from Bicycle Roots
-a $130 double BAM membership
-a $120, five-class spinning package from BYKLYN
-$100 towards a tattoo at NYHC Tattoos
-a $100 in class vouchers from Brooklyn Brainery
-$100 in drink-and-draw gift certificate to Passenger Bar
-a $100 prize pack from Royal Palms Shuffleboard
-$100 gift certificate to Do or Dine
-$75 to spend at Brooklyn Winery
-a $74 bartending kit from Mason Shaker
– $100 gift certificate to Greenlight Bookstore
-4 passes to TrivWorks‘ next Pat Kiernan-hosted event
-$100 to spend at Film Biz Recycling (and a naked man statue too!)

$12; Doors at 7:30; party starts at 8. Buy your tix here now!
RSVP on Facebook here too, if you’re into that kinda thing.

[All proceeds from the party go to the Brokelyn Writers’ fund and to help keep Brokelyn going for another 5 years and beyond]