You can order cronuts on the internet, so get off the line

Have you been thinking about getting on the cronut line and wasting your days away as you wait in vain for New York’s food of the year? Well, you shouldn’t do it, it’s getting cold out, for starters. It’s also just a very silly thing to do. And finally, the best reason to do it is that now you can order cronuts online. Oh internet, is there nothing you can’t deliver to us (other than intelligent discourse)?

Does this mean you can get cronuts on demand now? No, of course not, these aren’t made on an assembly line like the awful way Nabisco takes advantage of those Keebler elves. Every Monday at 11am, you’ll be able to put in an order for up to 6 cronuts here, that you can than pick up 2 weeks out from the order date. Is the week of December 2 through 6 sold out already? Yes, of course it is, but you can always hope that as Christmas approaches, people won’t go absolutely crazy trying to get these things. Hey, is this thing on?

Until you can make your own cronut (a la the ramen burger), this is much more preferable to waiting on a line, in the cold, as people walk by and make fun of you under their breath. Wait a couple weeks for a Cronut and it’ll taste much better. Wait on the line at the wrong time and you’ll end up as an example of a dum dum in one of those horrible late night comedy “man on the street” videos.