Brokelyn free receivables disclosure report

You may have read that the FTC has begun requiring bloggers to disclose free gifts. In compliance with the new regulations, our auditors have advised us to publish the full list of items we have received for free since this web mag launched on May 18, 2009:

– Three pill cups containing strawberry cheesecake at Costco
– 12 to 14 “tasters” of Yogo flavors we’ve already tried
– An extra apple from the Park Slope Food Coop (child ate it in cart and shopper failed to tell checkout person)
– Several fingerfuls of Creme de la Mer from Macy’s
– Two free MetroCard fares (with the purchase of a $20 card
– One Cartier Tank Watch from Russian Nets Owner [NAME REDACTED] in exchange for calling him “our kind of Oligarch”
– One eco-tote full of cash from Frankie “The Nose” [LAST NAME REDACTED] in exchange for not-guilty vote at bribery trial
– Unlimited use of a stretch Hummer from aforementioned (not used owing to gas expense)
– One week at the seven-star Burj al Arab hotel in Dubai from coffee shop operator [REDACTED] in exchange for positive review
– First-class flight to aforementioned property paid by local dogwalker, also in exchange for positive review
– 17 massage-pluses at the [NAME REDACTED] spa in Sunset Park as ongoing research for exposé
– A year’s free tuition at St. An[PRIVATE SCHOOL NAME REDACTED]’s in exchange for not running scathing review of school play starring Je[NAME REDACTED]y’s kid

If you are aware of any free goods and services bestowed upon Brokelyn staff and not mentioned here, please list below or alert the FTC directly.