This is what a bodega run by apartment brokers would look like

Anyone who’s ever looked for apartments around here on line is familiar with the strange phrasing, bait and switch and questionable grammar and punctuation of your typical listing. “Why is it in all caps? Is that the right usage of ‘you’re’? There’s no way that’s really Fort Greene” are just many of the thoughts that have run through our heads looking for a place. Well finally someone got so fed up he decided to amuse us with a Tumblr imagining that the people who write this copy were also selling us candy, Vicks and paper towels. We give you, The Broker Bodega.

The brainchild of copywriter Dan Brill, who we imagine would know a thing or two about churning out copy, the Broker Bodega is a perfect encapsulation of the weirdness that exists in Craigslist and other apartment listings websites. It’s so simple that the joke can go on forever, especially if there keep being groan-worthy puns like “Upper-Chest Side”:

Also of note are the ridiculous prices attached to everything, but that’s probably as much a reason to cry as it is to laugh. Anyway, we’ll be browsing every day now, looking for the perfect bottle of olive oil. We want something that’s really slippery, so give us a shout if you come across anything.