I know these usually start with some pleasantries (or well, unpleasantries) about where we are in the week and how it relates to enjoyment, but I’ll be honest: it’s too damn hot for jokes. It’s so hot the dog is shaving all of her fur herself. It’s so hot that your Gawker takes feel more like a gorgeous spring breeze than an angry fire. It’s not so hot though, that you can’t enjoy the five best things to do tonight, as found on the Brokelyn Events Calendar.
FUNHOUSE COMEDY
It’s too hot for me to tell jokes, but fortunately for you, it’s the job of a comedian to tell jokes no matter how hot it is or how much physical discomfort they’re in. Fortunately for you, Lucas Kaiser and Jena Friedman are both funny and they’re only two of six comedians in the lineup for tonight’s Funhouse Comedy. Plus, at the very least, Passenger Bar has air conditioning.
9pm, Passenger Bar, 229 Roebling Street, Williamsburg, FREE
RED HOOK FLICKS: FANTASTIC MR. FOX
Some of you might not mind the heat, and even if you do kind of mind being outside, it will at least be cooler down by the water. “Down by the water” also happens to be where Fantastic Mr. Fox is being shown tonight, and it’s not just a great movie, it might be Wes Anderson’s best. Yeah, we said it.
8pm, Louis Valentino Jr. Park, Coffey Street and Ferry Street, Red Hook, FREE
TV TUESDAY: TWIN PEAKS
So when agent Dale Cooper talked about his love of pie, he was talking about cherry pie, not pizza pie. But it’s an imperfect world, so maybe instead of nitpicking, just enjoy watching Twin Peaks with some other fans of the show while eating pizza pie. After all, things could be much worse. You could be dead, like Laura Palmer.
9pm, Pizza Party, 254 Irving Avenue, Bushwick, FREE
ANIMAL FARM
There should be some reward if you’re gonna pay so much money to live in a city where it gets very hot and people get grumpy and it smells like parties and you’re always in danger of having someone unleash a hot take while you try to flirt at the bar. Animal Farm is one of those rewards, because being here means you can see writers published in places like McSweeney’s, The New Yorker and Colorlines live and in person, and then maybe even buy them a drink and talk craft. Just don’t give them your opinion on the whole Gakwer thing, unless they ask.
8pm, Over the Eight, 594 Union Avenue, Williamsburg FREE
ADAM WADE 1ST LIVE ALBUM RECORDING
Adam Wade is a 20-time Moth storytelling champion, has appeared on Inside Amy Schumer and is generally regarded as a comic storyteller who people love. So being in the audience for the first album he records should be pretty special. And even better, local workingman’s comic Greg Johnson will be opening the evening up, giving you the chance to catch the Myrtle Comedy host not having to host a show.
8pm, The Bell House, 149 7th Street, Gowanus, $12