Where to comfort-binge on the 8 best nachos in Brooklyn

I love nachos. But honestly, who doesn’t? An order of nachos is a plate of joy placed right in front of you and is sure to bring happiness with each gooey, yummy bite. Nachos are also served en masse and are usually just sliiightly too expensive for someone to afford alone, thus inviting friendship and camaraderie. New to the area or want to make more friends? Order some nachos and watch your friend count rise.

For the last couple of years I’ve been on a quest to find the best nachos but I also recognize that rankings may vary depending on what mood you’re in. Some nachos are better for the melancholy post-election binge, while others suit the humbug seeking a taste of ‘Old Brooklyn.’ Here’s a roundup of the best nachos in Brooklyn, sorted to fit whatever mood you find yourself in on the night you indulge. You’re welcome.

Comfort nachos
Xochitl Taqueria (1015 Fulton St.), Clinton Hill – Super Nachos, $8

Do you feel devastated about the election? Did you just break up with your significant other? Or do you tend to stress eat? Then you should eat these; they’ll make you feel better. This plate is a comfort dish so complete that it’ll easily subdue your worries, at least until the food and alcohol binge subsides. The super nachos are made up of the usual ground beef, refried beans, pico de gallo, crema, guacamole and cheese, but there’s just something about the combination that makes them absolutely delicious. Perhaps it’s that the ingredients are thoroughly mixed, so every chip is accounted for and guaranteed to add a little light to your life. (Pro tip: While fine and fun to eat at the restaurant, I prefer to do takeout and sad-eat them at Fulton Grand, the bar next door.)

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Traditional vegetarian nachos
Brooklyn Public House (247 DeKalb Ave.), Fort Greene — Nachos, $13

These nachos are delish and are for when you’re feeling laid back. Consisting of a MASSIVE heaping of tortilla chips, three cheeses, salsa fresca, beans, guacamole, sour cream and jalapeños, this is what dreams are made of. Every chip is guaranteed to get a heap of everything on it and every bite is better than the next. These nachos are for people who come hungry or are training for food eating competitions. This plate can easily feed four people while enjoying some drinks in a fun, bar atmosphere.

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Traditional meat nachos
The Montrose (47 5th Ave.), Park Slope – Nachos with Chili, $12

Say it’s Tuesday night and you’re feeling a little crazy and vegetarian nachos just won’t do. It’s time to order Montrose’s nachos with chili. This is a massive portion of nachos consisting of generous helpings of cheese, sour cream and guacamole with large jalapenos and pico de gallo interspersed throughout. But it’s the chili that really helps make this dish. It almost tastes like the canned, generic chili you ate growing up but it’s served with thick cuts of steak that melt in your mouth. Heavenly hallucinations with each bite.

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Breakfast nachos
No. 7 Restaurant (7 Greene Ave.), Fort Greene – Fried Eggs and Nachos, $9

Located on their brunch menu, these nachos are a good reason to wake up in the morning. What makes it breakfast nachos are the fried eggs on top. There aren’t many ingredients but they’re all unique to most nachos in the borough: the platter comes with beans, Swiss cheese, jalapenos and pho garnish (!), and the runny egg yolk brings it all together. I think of it as a slightly fancier take on huevos rancheros. The atmosphere is also laid back, which’ll make for an easy start to your weekend.

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Gourmet nachos
The Commodore (366 Metropolitan Ave.), Williamsburg — Cadillac Nachos, $12

These nachos take it up a notch-o in their ingredients and their fancy name does them justice. The ingredient list on the menu paints these as ordinary nachos (queso, jalapeños, pintos, three salsas, tomato, onion and sour cream) but then they arrive with a generous helping of sliced radishes and cilantro on top. Hot damn! The cilantro takes a large presence and really pulls the dish together, offering a fresh, clean taste with every bite. The queso is an added bonus and ensures gooey globs of cheese on every chip. These nachos provide the best of both worlds — gourmet food in a dive bar setting.

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OG nachos
Lucha Lucha (283 Nostrand Ave.), Bedstuy – Carne Asada Fries, $14

Feeling gangsta? I did one day and came upon this little gem. This tiny restaurant serves up San Diego/SoCal Mexican food. Having lived in San Diego, I can vouch this is legit and is why these made my list. Their menu actually offers several different varieties of nachos, but they also had several varieties of fries so who cares? Carne asada fries are the quintessential SoCal dish and Lucha did not disappoint. Topped with guacamole, carne asada, cotija cheese, black beans and pico de gallo, every bite is better than the last. The portion size is generous, very filling and perfect for delivery at your favorite neighborhood bar.

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Hidden gem nachos
Sisters (900 Fulton St, Clinton Hill) – Chilaquiles, $15

Hot take: chilaquiles are just fancy nachos. At least, the way Sisters does them they are. Topped with duck confit, tomatillo, fried egg and pico de gallo, this platter of decked-out tortilla chips is very tasty and filling. As a general rule I’m against these kinds of sparkly alt-nachos, but damn, that duck was amazing. The atmosphere is bright and airy, too, so it’s hard to be hateful when you’re here. Make it a complete brunch by pairing it with one of their tasty cocktails.

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Bullshit delicious nachos
Barclays Center (or any sports arena) – Nachos with cheese, $overpriced

These are the nachos of your childhood. The nachos you’ll overpay for at any sports arena and are one of the reasons I tolerate nine innings of baseball. It’s just nachos and cheese sauce. “Cheese” sauce. But is this simple concoction really good or is it just that they’re comfortable? Who knows, I don’t like to over think these things, but it comes with creamy goo sauce, and it usually makes everything better, especially when your team is losing. Indulging in these nachos at your local sports stadium (or movie theater, even) will transplant you back to your past, when times were simpler and your parents paid for the food you ate. Since you live in New York and can see almost any sports event at any time of the year, chances are good you’ll be able to try these out.

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Honorable mention: Vegan nachos
V-Spot Park Slope (156 5th Ave.), Park Slope — Nachos Supreme, $12

And as a blog with two vegan editors, we’d be remiss not to include a vegan option for the karmically-inclined. V-Spot’s Nachos Supreme platter is a thing of beauty: with seasoned beans, guac, vegan cheese, and housemade vegan sour cream and salsa, this tower of corn chip death is definitely no healthier than any of the other options on our roundup but packs an ethical punch. Brings a whole new meaning to “comfort” food — you earned it, champ.