1. Go to a book release/dance party for Rivington Was Ours, a book about the ancient history that was the Lower East Side in 2006. Oh hey, it comes with an open wine bar (Friday)
2. Hear some monologues that aren’t just you muttering long and detailed threats of revenge under your breath when performance company The Family comes to Brooklyn LaunchPad (Friday)
3. It’s a movie called Ratpack, but don’t worry, it’s not the one about Frank Sinatra and his cabal of goons. It’s actually one about being young and looking for love in Brooklyn, which is more relatable, no? (Friday)
4. If you want to go to a book release party, but not the normal kind of book release party, why not go to Bergen Street Comics to check out the release party for comic book Iron Bound? Plus, free champagne! (Friday)
5. Last Exit had so much fun when we had our anti-VMA party that they’ve invited Stephen Pitalo to show even more old school videos (Friday)
6. Get some recognition for your ridiculous moustache (beyond open-mouthed stares) at the Coney Island Beard and Moustache Competition (Saturday)
7. It’s that time again. That time for uncomfortable sexual energy as comedians face-off in Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction (Saturday)
8. Gristle Tattoo is celebrating two years of inking you up and making your mother wonder where it all went so wrong, with some free art to look at (Saturday)
9. Instead of actually going back to school, check out these educational films from the 1910s to 1940s. It’s funny because they didn’t know anything back then (Saturday)
10. It’s time for Mondo, the indie dance party, so put on your best “sad, sensitive boy” face and you’ll have more makeout partners than you can handle! (Saturday)
11. Habana Outpost is showing Down By Law. Hey, maybe John Lurie will show up, you never know (Sunday)
11. A clothing swap and a mystery movie. Eh, there are worse ways to spend a Sunday (Sunday)
12. Give your single, cowardly friends the push they need by representing them on stage at Friends With Single People (Sunday)