Jobs. You need one, but you don’t have one. Or maybe you have one but you hate it, which is also unfortunate since you spend so much damn time punching the clock. And no one wants to be grumpy at work all the time, because it could lead to incidents of boss-punching, which like most punching is illegal. Instead, why not browse these sweet jobs we found for you, like a graphic designer for ESPN, a reporter, a staff writer who’s good at romance or even a model maker at Makerbot.
First up we’ve got a job helping ESPN sell their good name all over the world, as a graphic designer who helps make advertising for them of the print and digital variety. Despite being the the Worldwide Leader in Sports, they’re only looking for one year of experience, and don’t even require a college degree. Other qualifications include understanding the stupid Mark Sanchez joke we made yesterday and having the force of will to resist the urge to draw devil horns on Skip Bayless when you send out an ad with him on it.
If you want to do more of the do-gooder variety, why not help out the Brooklyn Public Library as a grant writer? They want you to know the best places to go begging for public and private financing in New York City, stuff about budgets and excellent writing skills. If you get the job, you’ll be writing grants to help keep them afloat and help develop budgets, so don’t think you can get the job by just studying our grant writing tips. Check that out anyway, though.
Are you so good with your hands you can undo a bra with one hand while blindfolded? Well, that could help you when you apply for a job at Makerbot as a 3D modeler. But you should also emphasize your design background, your excitement about 3D printing and your ease with Photoshop. If you get the job, you’ll be responsible for putting together 3D products from 2D blueprints, and making sure they don’t fall apart with one use like those horrible 3D printed guns.
Do you think you’ve got the skillz to report on goings on about town in New York? Or do you know you’ve got those skills? Either way, Crain’s has not one, but two reporter positions open for you to fight over. They want a real estate reporter who knows what’s up in the world of real estate, can spot trends (hint: just declare the South Bronx the new Williamsburg at your interview), can write multiple pieces on deadline and sometimes write about non-real estate things. They also want a local economy reporter who can let people know what’s going on with New York’s economy. Usually a lot is going on, so they’re asking for three years of experience in journalism before they’ll had you the keys to the Crainsmobile.
MediaBistro has done so much to let you know about media news, and more importantly, jobs. Isn’t it time you gave back to them, but also got paid? Well if you know anything about web development, now you can! The website is looking for a web developer to help tweak their sites, build APIs and do some R and D. If you understand any of that and have 2 to 4 years of web development experience, then you’re their woman.
Know a thing or two about how to romance people? Or at least can you fake knowing about dating while inside only you know you’re acting like a huge fraud? Well, either way, as long as you get useful copy out, dating site HowAboutWe is looking for staff writers. As a writer on their date report blog, they want you to provide smart and interesting takes about dating without being a shock value troll. Or at least that’s what they say, until they see how much traffic your first troll post pulls in.
If you still think you’ve got some stuff to learn, but don’t want to toil away as an unpaid intern, we’ve got a good gig for you. Toil away as a PAID intern at ANIMAL, where you’ll get to write posts, learn things by doing them, and get tips from Bucky Turco on how to call out dummies for abusing the word “hipster” all the goddamn time.
And of course if you like free breakfast on Thursday mornings and being snarky, but nice about it, on the internet, you can shoot us an email at dave [at] brokelyn.com