1. Check out the art that goes into correspondence and try not to think about how long it’s been since you talked to your parents. (Friday)

2. Party with Cypress Hill, leave before Sublime with Rome plays their set. (Friday)

3. Celebrate the tiny victories in your life. Then go see Tiny Victories. (Friday)

4. Get a dress out of the trash for your best gal, put on your favorite leather and spike studded tuxedo and see what’s going down at the hop. Maybe this! (Saturday)

5. There’s something called the Coney Island Spectacularium and the closing celebration is on Saturday. That is the saddest thing we’ve ever heard. (Saturday)

6. Walk from Grand Army Plaza to Grand Parasite Plaza Wall Street. (Saturday)

7. Go to the Afro-Punk Festival, holy shit does it look awesome. But be sure to stay hydrated during Cerebral Ballzy’s set, that kind of fast and brutal punk rock can really dry you out. (Saturday and Sunday)

8. Evolution is: replacing gladiator combat with fights over who makes the best guacamole. (Sunday)

9. Finally finish your family portrait wall by getting a professional picture taken of your pet. (Sunday)

10. The good news is that you can learn more about your brain at The Bell House. The bad news is that it’s not a lesson on how you can stop it from making you feel like a self-conscious twit. (Sunday)

11. Here’s come child-rearing advice they won’t tell you at the Brainery: if you whisper to your child gently while you water it, it will grow tall and strong. (Sunday)