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As the Summer of Hell wares on, the number of forums New Yorkers have to groan and moan about our very legitimate complaints feels ever more inadequate. With Cuomo busy skirting responsibility, de Blasio focused on pressuring Albany into paying up, and MTA chairman Joe Lhota defending the state, the political personalities are far better defined than any solution to the problem at hand.

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Photo by Yelper Wilkie J.
Photo by Yelper Wilkie J.

In comparison to protesting pols, calling your representatives and getting informed, Yelp pales as a tool of change; really, it’s a board for complaints, praise and roasts. Still, though, it’s amusingly notable that through all this bad publicity and so many daily delays, the MTA has managed to retain its three stars. (A smaller, repeat Yelp page for the MTA with less reviews has but two stars, and a third page with just two reviews has four.) Reading the reviews of the MTA is bizarre and vaguely cathartic. While many of the 453 reviewers are frustrated they can’t leave a 0 star rating, others focus their anger on “these MTA folks,” who are accused of being everything from, “a bunch of sadistic goons with the IQ of potato salad,” [Moon R.], “The Greatest Shit Show On Earth,” [Jerome T.] and standing for, “Money Thrown Away” [Tina C.] to simply, “UUGGHHHH” [Khloe V.]. There’s even an independent Yelp page dedicated to hating the MTA.

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Photo by Yelper Tina C.
Photo by Yelper Tina C.

Meanwhile, the trains themselves don’t escape individualized critique. Behold, from best to worst, every single line in the New York City subway system, ranked by Yelp reviewers. That the Q train is the best train in the system comes as less of a shock, at least to this straphanger, than that the 6 – with a measly five reviews – is the worst. Amusingly, both shuttle trains merited more Yelpers weighing in than the 3 train, or the 5 train.

Q train – 87 reviews, 3.5 stars
D train – 68 reviews, 3.5 stars
2 train – 32 reviews, 3.5 stars
42nd St. Shuttle – 23 reviews, 3.5 stars
Franklin Avenue Shuttle – 23 reviews, 3.5 stars
W train – 13 reviews, 3.5 stars
3 train – 12 reviews, 3.5 stars
L train – 214 reviews, 3 stars
N train – 113 reviews, 3 stars
1 train – 87 reviews, 3 stars
M train – 53 reviews, 3 stars
4 train – 46 reviews, 3 stars
J train – 36 reviews, 3 stars
5 train – 15 reviews, 3 stars
Z train – 3 reviews, 3 stars
7 train – 217 reviews, 2.5 stars
G train – 135 reviews, 2.5 stars
F train – 124 reviews, 2.5 stars
A train – 115 reviews, 2.5 reviews
E train – 94 reviews, 2.5 stars
B train – 28 reviews, 2.5 stars
R train – 97 reviews, 2 stars
C train – 69 reviews, 2 stars
6 train – 5 reviews, 1.5 stars

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