Now that Bill de Blasio has won the election, met with the mayor and made plans to banish Glenn Beck fans from our godless socialist paradise forever, it’s for him to decide the most important question before his administration truly begins: where should he live? Gracie Mansion, on the boring old Upper East Side? Or in his humble (uh, compared to the last guy we guess) Park Slope row house? Stay, Bill, stay!
Dennis Hamill first raised the issue, before de Blasio had even won the damn election. But just because he was premature doesn’t mean he wasn’t right. And now people want to know. Look, our feelings on this are obvious. Not only are we pro-Brooklyn when it comes to most things, but having the mayor live here both gives us clout and the ability to see him on the sidewalk and call him a lousy goddamn bum if things go poorly this term. Brooklyn is more fun than Manhattan, de Blasio is a known associate of Brooklyn favorites Vampire Weekend and staying local gives us a better chance to rope him in for a mayoral cameo at the Punderdome or our holiday party.
Plus, Gracie Mansion totally has bad relationship juju after Rudy Giuliani managed to drag it into his divorce case, like the family values conservative he is. So stick around Bill, Brooklyn wants you. Play bocce at Union Hall, see the OK sights and maybe solve the case of the bully cat.