Selfies with Jesus, 18 more ways to have a #blessed weekend

This guy.

This guy.

1. See a few short films about Brooklyn at the Brooklyn Historical Society, but avoid the temptation to yell out “Hey I’ve been there!” We know, we all live here. (Friday)

2. Bitches’ Brew Comedy is celebrating the holidays with a night of free comedy at Lucey’s Lounge. (Friday)

3. Expand your friend circle by adopting the dog, cat, or bunny of your dreams at Best Friends Super Adoption. (Friday-Sunday)

4. Stop putting off your holiday shopping and check out the crafts, toys, skincare, and even wreaths at the PS 321 Holiday Shop. (Saturday)

5. Unclench your fists for a couple hours and learn the basics of meditation. Your mind will be clearer for your next shouting match. (Saturday)

6. Solve some mysteries and sprint around dramatically at the Amazing Brooklyn Holiday Scavenger Hunt. (Saturday)

7. Build a boat and then eat that it at Gingerbread Ship Workshop at the Brooklyn Navy Yard. (Saturday)

8. Drink free wine as you shop at the South Franklin Ave Holiday Stroll. (Saturday)

9. SHAG is having a Free Naughty Santa Party where you can eat lots of snacks and take photos in questionable poses with Santa. (Saturday)

10. Some Girls Mag is hosting a record sale and craft fair, which is your chance to be the coolest gift giver among all your friends. (Saturday)

11. We know testing out chocolate and coffee is a tough job, but we have faith in you. (Saturday)

12. Artists gather to explore what’s inside our bodies, wallets and homes at the release party for Dead Horse. (Saturday)

13. Then dance off all that chocolate at I Love Vinyl at TBA Brooklyn. (Saturday)

14. Smallest Penis in Brooklyn pageant host Chicken Bitches invites you to Kings County Saloon for her one-woman show, Chicken Bitches Saves Christmas. Who else is gonna save it, you? (Saturday)

15. Hear from Emma Sulkowicz, the Columbia student behind Mattress Performance (Carry That Weight), as she discusses using art to bring personal trauma to public spaces. (Sunday)

16. Get everyone’s favorite meal, brunch, with everyone’s favorite old guy, Santa. (Sunday)

17. Get some handmade gifts like clothes, jewelry, and pottery, at Bird River Holiday Market. (Sunday)

18. Get a photo with Santa or Jesus (but remember it’s never just a selfie), your pick, at The Diamond Holiday Bazaar. (Sunday)

19. The Macaulay Culkin Show is celebrating one year of laughs during a show named after your favorite child actor with Jo Firestone, Chris Gethard and more of our favorites. (Sunday)