The Week in Broketown, 12/7 – 12/11

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You tell him. Illustration by Madelyn Owens

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-Don’t try to out run a Santa, don’t try climbing a tree and more tips for surviving a Santa encounter at SantaCon

-If you’re playing sober, normal Santa here’s gifts you can get for your foodie friends, your friends who love comedy, the bike snob in your life and your best book worm pal, all recommended by some of Brooklyn’s most knowledgeable experts

-In Willy Wonka-ish news, Ample Hills’ giant new ice cream factory will be located in Red Hook and will include tours showing you how the ice cream is made

Here’s a fun new map that shows where all the fun violence was in your neighborhood over the past year, because that’s a thing we need today in America

-You could be missing out on a rent-stabilized lease and not even know it. Better find out just to be sure

-In an attempt to protest SantaCon, some smooth dudes decided to bring SantanaCon to Williamsburg this week

-Our artist of the week Diet Cig has less tar and more tunes than a normal cigarette

We reached in our sack and found jobs at places like Van Leeuwen, the Brooklyn Botanic Garden and Bloomberg for the good boys and girls this year

-You could also get the ultimate summer job of beach lifeguard, if you’re interested, and make $650/week to make sure people stay safe at the beach