Check out the MTA’s new judgmental PSAs

Ever wonder what would happen if that polite male subway automaton stopped politely asking you to “offer your seat” and report “suspicious packages” and started getting real? You no longer have to, thanks to this video of a re-imagined morning commute, where the subway voice goes from gently advocating basic human courtesy to haranguing passengers for everything from their eco-consciousness to their choice in pets.

Whether you relate more to the woman drinking a Starbucks latte or the guy who’s just offended that anyone would prefer dogs over cats, there’s something in this video for every straphanger. That said, let’s not let this good-natured laugh at ourselves make us forget about all the stuff the MTA is doing wrong. Keep those pitchforks held high, folks.

judgmental mta