If you’re going to drag yourself out of bed and make yourself vagule presentable enough to the world in a timely enough manner to eat brunch, you should be rewarded by unlimited alcohol. This isn’t merely our opinion, this is a fact. It just is. But now the killjoy nerds at the New York City Hospitality Alliance are trying to put the brakes on our awesome goodtime unlimited drunk brunch party by prissily insisting that bottomless brunch is illegal. You will pry our bottomless bloody marys out of our tremor-filled fingers to nerds.
Yes you might have thought that the war on brunch was over, but you forget that people love war and they love sequels and they hate the thought of you and your decadent liberal friends drinking yourselves stupid by one in the afternoon. As Eater shares, NYCHA, not to be confused with the other NYCHA, recently put out a press release reminding people that “selling, serving, delivering or offering to patrons an unlimited number of drinks during any set period of time for a fixed price” is illegal.
Now, whether or not this means the jackbooted thugs of the no-fun police will slap that fourth bloody mary out of your hand is yet to be seen. We predict we’ll be safe for now, because New York’s delicate balance is definitely kept in part by filling its citizens with ungodly amounts of booze, and the idea of a New York that’s close to sober on Saturday and Sunday mornings is nothing anyone wants to deal with. Plus, even NYCHA told the Post that the odds of enforcement of the law is low. It’s not a bad idea to keep Stephen Levin’s office’s number handy, in case the raids start, but all that being said, there’s still no law against you drinking as many bloody marys as you want in your apartment while you don’t wear pants. A true bottomless brunch, if we’ve ever seen one (and we have).