8-year-olds dude. But not at Greenwood Park on Tuesday.

1. Literary magazines have looked a little depressed lately, so let them know that you give a shit about them (part of the Brooklyn Book Festival). (Monday)

2. Michael Chabon reads from his first novel in five years. More like The Lazy Yiddish Policeman’s Union, amirite? (Monday)

3. Game night at our house was never really this funny, but then again, maybe we should have learned to laugh at dad’s smack habit. (Monday)

4. Greenwood Park is showing The Big Lebowski, followed by noted American independent classic Gutterballs. (Tuesday)

5. Oh sure they say it’s a complete anthology of American folk music, but where are the notes on “Takin Care of Business?” (Tuesday)

6. Her Girl Friday teaches you the ways to be an investigative journalist that don’t involve growing a mustache, wearing a trenchcoat and screaming at blurred-out people on the sidewalk. Part of Et cetera 2012. (Wednesday)

7. You’ve missed the first 99 Dale Radio, the Gowanus Canal’s very own podcast, but you’re out of excuses now. No one will believe your seventh grandmother died. (Thursday)

8. Hey, it’s literary trivia! As if you know how to read. (Thursday)

9. Peekaboo Pointe claims to be the fastest tassell twirler this side of the Mississippi, but wait until she gets a load of our BurlesqueBot 4000. (Thursday)

10. Go show Ben Greenman that you don’t have to be educated or nothing to write all good and shit at a flash fiction competition. (Friday)

11. Lone Wolf, the 14th best dive bar in Brooklyn, hosts No Kill, Bermuda Bonnie and Pet Milk for a panel discussion on the future of the Eurozone. Nah, just kidding, it’s a rock and roll show. (Friday)

Listings pulled from our Brokelyn events calendar. Don’t see yours? Add it today!