Turns out the ‘craft whiskey’ you’re drinking might be a lie

whiskey

Well, if you’re drinking it like that, maybe it doesn’t matter. via Flickr user Chris Goldberg

If you’re a discerning consumer, you might pride yourself on staying away from macrobrewed alcohol of any kind, even though you’re eventually just gonna wind up drinking it like our friend pictured above is. Still, you buy your Bulleit or your WhistlePig instead of Jack Daniel’s, because those are made by master craft distillers who sing their mash to sleep, right? Uh…wrong, says the Daily Beast, who says that “dozens” of “craft” distilleries are buying their booze in bulk from a huge distillery in Indiana. Sounds like just another reason to make your own in your apartment.

Why are our beloved craft distilleries telling is such damaging lies about such a precious, precious product? Well, according to some of the distillers that the Daily Beast talked to, they want to get their businesses off the ground while they’re busy actually aging their whiskey for five or fifteen years. The way to tell if this might be happening with your favorite “craft” whiskey, according to the article? If the booze is said to be older than the company itself, it just might be aged in someone else’s giant distillation plant.

We understand the idea of not wanting to go broke while you get your distillery off the ground, but come on, guys, don’t peddle us precious twee lies swaddled in the illusion of painstaking labor. That kind of contempt for the people who buy your product should be left to companies that can afford to run TV ad packages where Michael Imperioli or Aaron Paul and friends imply that you’re not manly without their heroic liquor. You leave us feeling like your view of your audience is in line with Dan Halen:

Of course, you could always avoid this problem by just going that starts in some guy’s bedroom who isn’t afraid to say that’s where it started.