03/31/15 9:51am

Ah, Hollywood. It’s the place where killer robots, killer dinosaurs and killer ants all come to glorious life, sprung forth from thin air or popular books. This spring though, those wizards of the silver screen have whipped up their craziest idea yet in 5 Flights, inviting us to watch as attractive elderly couple Morgan Freeman and Diane Keaton…try to sell their Williamsburg apartment (via Curbed). No, no, see they can’t seem to sell the apartment, because the neighborhood is so hip and so cool and that makes it hard for some reason. It’s so hip and cool because of those lousy hipsters driving out a painter who moved to Williamsburg “before it was cool” and hey…wait a minute…

A PAINTER who moved to Williamsburg when it wasn’t hip? Excuse me sir, but those high-falootin’ paintings on canvas scattered around your apartment clearly show that you aren’t the kind of painter who paints houses. You are clearly some kind of fancy pants “artist,” a proto-hipster if you will, and mellifluous voice be damned, YOU helped make this happen. And now you’re leaving, because Brooklyn is “over.” We see right through you, Morgan Freeman. (more…)

03/24/15 4:39pm
Your signature might just save the Williamsburg businesses you rely on. via Travelers Today

Stop the L train closure, save the Williamsburg businesses you rely on. via Travelers Today

The hurricane of pure despair L train shutdown is now arriving: weeknight closures between Bedford and Eighth Avenue as of midnight tonight, and hellfire six straight weekends without service starting April 11. While that’s inconvenient for you as a commuter, it’s potentially catastrophic for the small businesses of Williamsburg, many of whom were counting on the spring weather to bring in more traffic after the brutal winter. DNA Info reports that Williamsburg businesses have started an online petition, as a last-ditch attempt to postpone the shutdown until August. ”To transport the humans here, the L train is our main artery,” Crest Hardware owner Joseph Franquinha told DNAinfo. “You cut off this artery, you’re cutting off our livelihood.” If you like local businesses that aren’t Starbucks or Urban Outfitters, you should consider signing it. (more…)

03/18/15 4:00pm
cherry izakaya

Here be cheapness (and charity). via Facebook

Despite the fact that we’re a blog that encourages people to do things like saving money through the power of cooking your own damn food, we understand it’s nice to go out sometimes. We also get that it’s nice to feel like you’re doing a good deed. Also it feels good to drink a lot of beer. Tonight, you can do all of those things, because Williamsburg Japanese spot Cherry Izakaya (138 North 8th Street) is rolling out $1 beers and complimentary food just for you. Well, you and whoever else shows up. (more…)

03/17/15 9:29am
trash bar brooklyn

Goodbye to all this. via Flickr user All-Nite Images

The Trash Bar.

I realize that there are only a couple of dozen or so people to whom the name evokes something more than a mild nostalgia, or else a wrinkled-nose pang of disgust, if it evokes anything at all.  Say you’re new to town, a fresh face out in Bushwick or Bed-Stuy, you’ve likely never been. And that’s fine, too. Never hip, always dirty, perpetually falling apart, it’s the place with the name tourists giggle at, sticking out like a sore thumb in 2015 Williamsburg. But if you’ve been around, say, the last decade, and been at all into music here in Brooklyn, or karaoke or free alcohol, then chances are you feel one way or the other about it.

I’m a bit different. Trash is closing at some point this year, sometime before August, and after working and hanging out there for eight years, I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around what this means to me and has meant to my life. (more…)

03/13/15 2:24pm

Some people just don’t get it

As beret-toting creatives, we take ourselves pretty seriously–and rightly so. We’ve read Proust, we’ve listened to Bitches Brew, we’ve seen Wild Strawberries, we know Art. We’re inspired dammit! and we have thoughts on the nature of truth and beauty and darkness that have never been thought before, nope not even remotely. Videology is snickering at us for some reason though, probably because their taste is manufactured and not a channel to seek a higher intellectual purpose. They claim we’re passing through some phase, that they had a pretentious artistic past as well. Phase? Past? We and our Art believe in eternalism, thank you very much. And we and our art believe in commanding respect and a lot of attention, which is why you’ll see us showing up to their Bullshit Olympics in protest. Because it is only by reading our latest brilliant existentialist musings that we will enlighten these poor, lost souls. (more…)

03/13/15 1:54pm

Sugarburg is so sweet, they’re serving coffee and pastries now. Photo via Facebook

What’s better than a bar that has curated craft beer and whiskey, great food and cool art on the walls? A bar that has all of that plus good coffee, and as of this week, Sugarburg is it. Better yet, they’re giving it away for free next week. (more…)

03/11/15 2:16pm
body art and soul tattoo

Ooh, you can get a zombie Jake the Dog at Body Art and Soul

“Friday the 13th tattoos?” you’re saying to yourself as you stare at the screen. “Didn’t we just have a Friday the 13th?” Yes, we did, but thanks to the vagaries of the calendar, we’ve got yet another one this week, which means if you missed out on a chance for a cheap goofy tattoo in February, you can get one this Friday. Or if you got one of those $13 tattoos, you can just get another one. After all, it’s Friday, there are plenty of tattoo parlors offering up cheap ink, and this is the last Friday the 13th until November, so get crazy. (more…)

03/11/15 9:59am
bushwick country club

Stop in at the country club on the bar crawl, they’ve got a hot dog tree. via Flickr user Chris Carella

In case you’re not a fan of the Shamrock Shake, or you think you’re too cool to look at a calendar like some kind of confident weirdo, you probably didn’t realize that St. Patrick’s Day is right around the corner. That’s right, next Tuesday it’ll be time once again to avoid getting pinched by just giving in and wearing green, and it’s also once again time for the Grand Street BID’s 4th annual Saint Patrick’s Day Pub Crawl. (more…)

03/09/15 3:02pm

Namaste fresh, y’all. via Verboten

Inner peace is important to us, especially when we’re clubbing like the rapture’s in half an hour. We want to fist pump ourselves into a complete frenzy, but we also want to make sure we’re the purest, most balanced beings this side of the Ganges. The EDMeditators at Verboten have been championing strobe enlightenment for a year now, and they told us to celebrate their first birthday they’re offering free Willkommen Deep House yoga classes today and tomorrow, where you can peacefully get downward dog with live DJs. If death metal yoga wasn’t quite the right fit for you, we think you’re in luck.  (more…)

03/05/15 2:00pm
Rembert Browne knows more than Bill Gates, anyway

Rembert Browne knows more than Bill Gates, anyway

Few things remind us what brilliant experts we are on every topic imaginable quite like booze. Likewise, we can’t think of anything that makes us unquestioningly trust what people have to say quite like a flashy powerpoint presentation. If you appreciate drinking, slideshows, and unquestionable knowledge as much as we do, Videology’s TEDxxx this weekend is probably the key to all the answers you’ve been seeking. (more…)