Gonna be honest…this is only like the third or fourth weirdest thing we’ve ever seen on the streets around here.
Caught up in the Sharknado epidemic? We are too, and the only thing that’s better than watching an awesomely bad movie is watching an awesomely bad movie while drinking with a group of strangers who share that appreciation with you. Especially an awesomely bad movie in which tornadoes hurl gigantic sharks around a major metropolitan area in an insane and frightful frenzy. This edition of Sharknado is extra-special, because in Sharknado 2: The Second One, all shark/tornado hell breaks loose in Manhattan! Yet another reason why Brooklyn is the better borough.
Look at these fucking hipsters (at their luxury hotel). via Facebook
We don’t know what it is about people that they can’t let go of the idea that Williamsburg is chock full of hipsters, but every day brings a new piece of news that hammers home IT FUCKING ISN’T. Today’s sign that Williamsburg is for stockbrokers: a $1.75 million two-bedroom apartment overlooking the McCarren Hotel pool that’s being pitched as the perfect antidote to rich guys who just wanna wave their wallet around, with the Daily News chiming in that your new terrace gives you “plenty of opportunity for observing the doe-eyed hipster set in its summer skivvies.”
And what art school dropout with pink streaks in her hair wouldn’t consider this scenario a heavy gusher:
But some locals think it would be a hit with Brooklyn babes.
One playboy’s advice: “You just walk down to the pool, get a drink and ask them if they want to come upstairs and freshen up.”
If that’s not game, we don’t know what is.
We didn’t think the Williamsburg J. Crew would take a shambling, Jager-puking human form so quickly, but then who are we to argue with the dark arts?
“We didn’t want to just go and do graffiti,” says Jenna Lyons, J.Crew’s creative director. Initially, she wanted to keep the store’s facade as she’d found it — covered in posters and spray-painted tags. “Unfortunately when we did a survey of the space, the facade was actually in such poor shape we had to replace quite a bit of the brick,” she said. “We asked, ‘Who is a local artist who might be able to do help us tell people we’re coming in a way that’s not obvious and might be able to reference that graffiti sensibility — but making it feel more modern?’ ”
But forget about Lyons’s real employees for a second: what would Hannah Horvath think of a J.Crew moving into Williamsburg?
YES, WHAT? Just a reminder, that if you hear anyone make jokes about Williamsburg hipsters these days, that person is a terrible hack and should be tied to the tip of an ICBM and shot into space.
It’s Monday, the start of another boring week of drudgery at your office or your home office. Maybe you’re sick of wearing a suit or dealing with Optimum and the world’s worst internet service and you want a job that’s wild and free. Well, this documentary on Bill, the Best Pizza delivery man, will give you an insight into another way of living. Perks of the job include exercise, making good money compared to bike messaging and having people get excited at your presence. Downsides include getting jumped by kids, trying to balance two bags of pizza on your bike and severed pinky tips. Do those risks outweigh the fact that sitting in a chair every day could be killing you? Only you can decide!
You COULD sit in a kiddie pool on your roof, but think about all the fun stuff you’d be missing out on.
If you’re lucky enough to have a job that gives you summer Fridays (or any job at all), you’re pretty much killing us here at Brokelyn if you’re using your free, salaried time to watch Netflix. We’re not going to say we’re not jealous of your paid free hours, but even while secretly hating you we want you help you make the most of your summer Fridays.
Even though lucky you has permanent, parent-approved employment, you don’t need to spend a lot, or any, money to make the most of your much-deserved time off. (more…)