You ever get the feeling…you’re being watched? via Facebook
You probably would never have guessed Williamsburg is a stomping ground for the Illuminati, but the bro-heavy neighborhood has taken a turn to the spooky. Not only is it the stomping ground of disgraced, war-happy, human rights-violating ex-presidents, Crain’s reports today that the corporate mega-chains moving in see Williamsburg as a “secret lab,” in which they can jot down the shopping habits of the urban elite and learn to craft the aesthetic for Middle America. YOU’RE BEING WATCHED BY LULULEMON, SHEEPLE! Which, along with Helmut Lang apparently has plans to come to Williamsburg. (more…)
An Urban Outfitters rep sits and ponders the company’s next move. via Facebook
Bad news for those of you who were hoping to enjoy concoctions like The Tin Monkey, the Bushwick Mary and the Etsy Bitsy Biter: Williamsburg’s Community Board 1, acting agains the interests of all jokey bloggers everywhere, denied recommending Urban Outfitters get their liquor license. Thanks guys, now where will we find our jokes? (more…)
Finally, somewhere to outfit your mouth with hipness. (Photography: Marco Novak; picture: A BANDA MAIS BONITA DA CIDADE/Curitiba/Brazil)
As you may have heard, not only is Williamsburg getting that Urban Outfitters it’s always needed, but the company is applying for a liquor license to open a cafe within the store. Befitting any major destination drinking spot in Brooklyn these days, they’re going to have an extensive artisanal cocktail menu, which sources close to the company have leaked to Brokelyn. Presented for your perusal, an exclusive first look at the menu of Cafe Urban Outfitters: (more…)
Now when you get in a cab to go home, you can just point at your shirt!
It’s almost summer, allegedly, even if the best you can hope for from the weather right now is freezing your ass off in Citi Field’s cheap seats. Summer, of course, means going to thrift shops and finding basketball jerseys to wear both because they are comfortable and because they’re still timely, because the NBA playoffs last until around August or it feels like that anyway. What if you don’t want to go to a thrift store though, because they’re too dirty or you’re taking a (non-violent) stand against Macklemore? Well, Urban Outfiters has your back with their Bushwick jersey/tanktop thing! (more…)
Urban Outfitters shopper or Williamsburg resident? Trick question, she’s both! via Facebook
Obviously it’s been a long time since Williamsburg was thought of as anything approaching edgy (unless you were making a terrible pun about the condos), but even with the slowly encroaching i-banker hordes and upscale Salvation Armies, it at was at least a little weird. Now though, assuredly notweird purveyor-of-hipsterdom-to-the-suburbs headband warehouse Urban Outfitters may be getting ready to move in to the neighborhood. Your revolution is over, Mr. Adebimpe. Condolences. The beards lost. (more…)
Your rent is paid and you’re ready to take on the world.
As we previously noted, the sexual hijinks and financial emptiness (or is it the other way around?) of Girls is coming back to our pictocubesillegal downloads parents’ HBO Go accounts this year. Sunday in fact. And because they know we can use the money so as to better focus on our memoirs, HBO is going to give you a free year of rent just for following them on Twitter. (more…)
Occupy Sandy volunteers, dominating the good feels in 2012. Photo by Jenna Pope.
Oh 2012. Everyone kept worrying about you being the last year in human history before you happened, and then by the time the election hit fifth gear, they were hoping you really would be. Despite all this, you readers managed to have a hell of a lot fun reading topless in the park, giving Philadelphia an inferiority complex and getting into the politics of Urban Outfitters and endlessly debating the merits of Girls. Even as the year ended with a powerful hurricane, it was met with an equally powerful outpouring of support from in-the-muck volunteers. We’ve been happy to bring you these stories this year, and we hope you had fun reading; so without further ado, here are our top stories of 2012: (more…)
Our pals at Bushwick Daily found a story about plans for a mall to come to Bogart Street, right across from the Morgan L stop. Yes, if it weren’t already apparent, the Eye of Sauron-like gaze of New York City real estate is now peering intently at Bushwick. If the plan goes through, and as currently constructed it’s apparently going be a “retail and nightlife complex,” we’ll probably be able to pinpoint the exact day some idiot starts pushing the idea that “Morgantown” is a real neighborhood. (more…)
Ryan Malarkey, a 23-year-old designer, says she spent “probably close to $10,000″ on ink. Photo (c) Paul Nathan / Generation Ink.
How many people do you know with epic tattoos? Of those people, how many of them are in a pretty much constant state of fiscal-overdrawnery and/or unemployment (AKA: “freelancing”)? Do they live in Williamsburg? Do they wish they did? They might be in photographer Paul Nathan’s new coffee table book, “Generation Ink: Williamsburg, Brooklyn,” featuring portraits of walking canvases who have spent upwards of $10,000 on their ink. Who are these people, where did they get $10,000 and why did they spend it on tattoos? And who are you to judge? You have a Louis Vuitton bag but are a month behind on rent! Oh, wait, that’s me. Did these people get their money’s worth? And what’s your number? (more…)