06/10/14 3:00pm
museum mile festival

Art for miles. via Facebook

After your day of work in the city is done, you might be thinking of running back home to Brooklyn as fast as you can so that you can binge on the rest of Orange Is The New Black before someone spoils something while you’re on the food truck line. Or maybe you want to see the season finale of Veep that you’ve been meaning to watch. Hold off on that for just a few hours though, because nine museums on Fifth Avenue between 82nd Street and 105th Street are open and have free admission for the Museum Mile Festival. Hooray, culture! (more…)

02/28/14 3:34pm
gracie_mansion_large

Still empty of trouble-making Brooklynites

After Bill de Blasio announced that he would be leaving Park Slope’s land of artisanal treats for the stodgy old Upper East Side, people figured that the question of whether a mayor would finally live in Gracie Mansion after over a decade would finally be settled. Whoops, guess not, because not only has de Blasio still not moved there, according to Capital New York, he’s not planning on moving there until after the school year. This is the most drawn out move undergone by a people since the Jews took forty years in the desert to get from Egypt to Israel. (more…)

01/28/14 10:08am
de blasio inauguration end

The co-op board had a feeling about these ones… Photo by Madelyn Owens

It’s only natural to have feelings of resentment when you’re priced out of one neighborhood and need to move to another one, as was the case when Bill de Blasio moved from Park Slope to public housing in the Upper East Side. Already we’ve heard neighbors complain he was personally pelting them with snowballs, and now he’s turning the neighborhood into some kind of trash heap, as if the Upper East Side is no better than Bushwick. From the Post:

Dozens of piles of plastic bags stuffed with refuse marred the posh neighborhood, despite official claims that “around-the- clock” efforts had cleared away all of the city’s “backlogged material.”

Meanwhile, on de Blasio’s block in Brooklyn’s Park Slope, the only trash to be seen was a bunch of construction debris from a home-remodeling project — neatly tucked away in a tarp-covered dumpster.

Even worse, we hear that de Blasio’s metalhead daughter won’t turn down her damn rock and roll music.

12/11/13 12:51pm
gracie_mansion_large

The place where the de Blasio family will live

Throwing into stark detail his assertion that New York has become “a tale of two cities,” recently elected New York City mayor Bill de Blasio and his wife and teenage son are leaving their modest home in Park Slope, Brooklyn and decamping for public housing in the neighboring borough of Manhattan. Despite protestations that he would have loved to stay, de Blasio called the move “a practical choice” in a statement released to reporters, one that’s no doubt driven by Brooklyn’s skyrocketing rents. (more…)

bill de blasio

These are actually just people following the family around asking them to stay in Park Slope. via Facebook

Now that Bill de Blasio has won the election, met with the mayor and made plans to banish Glenn Beck fans from our godless socialist paradise forever, it’s for him to decide the most important question before his administration truly begins: where should he live? Gracie Mansion, on the boring old Upper East Side? Or in his humble (uh, compared to the last guy we guess) Park Slope row house? Stay, Bill, stay! (more…)

10/28/13 9:38am
whiskey & wine off 69

Finally, learn how to make that Evan Williams taste a little better. via Facebook

You’ve got liquor in your apartment, and you’ve also got this real old bottle of bitters. But the problem is, you have no idea how to make the two come together to make beautiful alcohol. Well, you won’t have to worry about that any longer, because tonight you can learn at the feet of some of NYC’s best cocktail makers without having to pay them, when Whiskey & Wine Off 69 (1321 Second Avenue) hosts a mixology class in their store. (more…)

08/28/13 2:47pm
Sounds like you'll basically be working for W.P. Mayhew

Sounds like you’ll basically be working for W.P. Mayhew, but he has kids. Oh…oh god.

True story: After I quit my first job here, one that had me on the track to be flack for some New York politico or another, people asked me what I’d do, and I’d say I was working on a screenplay. It wasn’t very good. But still, I soldiered on, because I didn’t know any better. If only this job to be a personal assistant for a successful screenwriter had been around, I could have learned the ravages that Hollywood wreaks on people. But you can learn that firsthand if you get this job. (more…)