Fuck the friend zone.
Before you throw your phone across the room in a feminist rage, let me elaborate. I’m not saying fuck being in the friend zone. I’m saying fuck it as a general concept, because I don’t think it actually exists. Saying someone put you in the ‘friend zone’ is essentially just a way of blaming them for not being attracted to you. It’s the relationship equivalent of a participation ribbon, as if being friends with someone is less worthwhile than dating them. It doesn’t help that the phrase is almost always used derogatorily toward women, as a complaint that despite the fact of man performing acts of basic decency, the woman won’t reward him by providing sex.
Listen, I get it– it’s hard out there. In the shark tank that is the New York dating scene it’s natural to look to your friends, and sometimes you can’t help it when the feelings creep up. Or maybe you met someone new, and you figure the best way to get in is to keep your intentions hidden (for now). But how you deal with these feelings and intentions is the true marker of whether you’re an adult or an adult baby.
So I say death to the friend zone. Not only can we be less sexist but, goddamnit, we can be more precise. For your consideration I offer up these five zones more accurate than the friend zone to help you navigate the turbulent waters. (more…)