01/20/17 3:21pm
Screen Shot 2017-01-19 at 2.40.56 PM

tfw you’re not sure what the job you’re applying for is exactly but your buddy says he’ll get you in.

The most unqualified person ever to be elected president has officially been sworn in and he’s carrying with him into Washington a quiver of cronies. It’s hard to distill a lesson from all this other than failing upwards is becoming the only exercise some Americans get any more. We’ve seen Trump’s nominees flub their interviews, showing up wholly unprepared or revealing they don’t not actually know what the job they’re applying for is, exactly. So let’s take a minute to consider those of us who still fail the regular, downward way, especially when applying for jobs.

The single worst job interview I ever gave started going downhill in a wind tunnel. I was applying for a job at a legal newswire, had aced the first few rounds of the process and was called in for an in-person interview at the Soho office. I was new to the city and with about a month’s rent to my name, so I donned my one good outfit, one of my dad’s old ties, a way-too-shabby corduroy blazer and headed into the city. The February day was brisk and windy, and I hadn’t been able to afford a haircut, so once I stepped out of the subway, I was immediately harassed with the full force of the Broadway wind tunnel that immediately turned my combed hair into an anarchic rat’s nest, all volume and jagged angles, unable to be tamed with hands alone. (more…)

01/19/17 3:12pm

President Obama (god, that feels good) held his last press conference yesterday, and it may be the last of those we have in a while, considering who’s coming in to replace him. Many of us watched glassy-eyed as the POTUS made his final address to the nation last week. Some of us teared up. Some of us broke down. And some of us sang tributes to Obama to the tune of “On my Own” from Les Misérables. 

Or maybe that last one was just Brooklyn-based comedian Marybess Pritchett. In the video above, titled “Please Don’t Go” and sung to the tune of Éponine’s “On My Own,” Pritchett eulogizes Obama and shares her fears for the future after him.

“Without him, the world around me changes/
It’s not fair, get out of there, your house is full of racists!” (more…)

01/17/17 2:15pm
What's your sign gonna say? via IG user @an_gerra

What’s your sign gonna say? via IG user @an_gerra

Just a few days from now, hundreds of thousands will gather in Washington, DC to march in protest of Donald Trump’s presidency and the threats it poses to women’s (i.e. human) and reproductive rights. Like every powerful protest, it’s sure to feature some pretty good signage. Heck, no matter where you’re marching this weekend, you’re going to want something to hold up, a message or image that resonates with others.

But what does that mean? What makes a good protest sign, and what should your goal be in making one? Should you use all caps? Should you avoid swearing? And what images and symbols are most eye-catching to those whose eye you’re looking to catch?

All this, and more answers, can be yours with the help of this handy Brokelyn guide to protest signs. We’ve rounded up a number of sign-making workshops and parties happening around the borough, and got tips from local experts (read: frequent demonstrators) on how to punch up or punch down powerfully with your protest sign. (more…)

01/17/17 11:28am
Here we go: A list of anti-inauguration marches, protests and fundraisers in NYC this weekend

Via Flickr’s iamdawson.

One of the perks of living in New York City is that even bad news is met with a party. David Bowie died and 100 tribute dance parties immediately blossomed to pay tribute, Carnegie Deli closed and a line party grew outside so people could say goodbye. So this weekend, when America takes a big kick to the gut, New York City is marking the occasion not only with a bevy of protests, marches and rallies, but also with some parties to help dance away the bad vibes — and raise money for organizations that will help fight Trump and his merry band of racists and billionaires.

If you can’t make it to the big women’s march in DC  on Saturday, here’s a rundown of the protests, parties and ant-inauguration events happening in Brooklyn and NYC this weekend; we’ll keep updating this list as more come in. (more…)

01/11/17 2:06pm

We are coping with the upcoming Trump administration by using an alternating mix of activist rage and absurdist comedy, because if we can’t spend an entire news cycle making pee-pee jokes about the president-elect on Twitter, are we even really Americans any more?

Comedian Scott Rogowsky today brought back his hilarious Taking Fake Book Covers on the Subway series (which we last wrote about in April) for a special Trump-shaming edition. This version features book titles like Wet Dreams From My Father by Ivanka Trump and Horton Smears a Jew by Steve Bannon. And it takes place on the L train too. Give it a watch and feel good having a laugh instead of being full of rage for a few minutes: All proceeds from the video will go to the ACLU and Planned Parenthood. (more…)

01/11/17 12:28pm
'Show up. Dive in.' Obama's farewell speech last night contained some key advice for brokesters

Show the f up, America. Via screenshot.

Barring any sort of Crisis on Infinite Earths scenario that removes our world from the Darkest Timeline and returns things to their proper order, Trump becomes president in a little more than a week. The stark contrast between the outgoing and incoming administrations was in full HD display last night, as President Obama delivered his farewell speech full of calls for hope and the commonality of our purpose, while his successor had spasms of Twitter rage denying allegations that he and some Russian prostitutes created their own version of Wikileaks in a hotel room.

It can be hard to find any hope that things will get better in the near future, but for now we’ll point you to this section from Obama’s speech last night that we think can serve as a guiding light to any brokester who just wants to make something in the world or anyone trying to make a difference, or maybe just is trying to hold on to their little piece of New York City with all they’ve got: (more…)

01/09/17 2:13pm
This is how the world ends. This is how the world ends. via Institute for Human Learning

This is how the world ends. This is how the world ends. via Institute for Human Learning

Spoiler alert: The world will come to an end on January 20, 2017. The Mayans may not have predicted this one, but considering we’re just one tweet away from nuclear incineration and the guy with his hand on the keyboard has more enemies than Drake would know what to do with, the end was probably coming soon anyway.

But will it come to NYC, you ask? You bet. Our reputation as a tolerant, progressive-minded city exempt from the kind of hate Trump’s rhetoric incites has long since been sullied, and NYC’s friendly neighborhood GOP is still working from the inside to threaten marginalized groups in our community. Add a stalled cleanup of the Gowanus Canal and funding rollbacks on affordable housing to the pile of federal concerns for health care and women’s rights, and you’ve sure as shit got a local apocalypse. Goodbye, cruel world.

He’s a thought: Before we Brooklynites bid the world adieu, each of us ought to seize the opportunity to do something we never had the guts to do in the borough. You know what we’re talking about— calling bullshit on a gentrifying business, riding the Cyclone with slinkies attached to your chest, taking a big ol’ shit in front of a Starbucks… there any number of Brooklyn fantasies you’ve never dared to play out. Until now.

We’ll help you get started with our own Brokelyn Staff bucket list, and then you can chime in with what you’re planning before the world ends in the comments. Here’s what we’d like to do:  (more…)

01/05/17 2:00pm

The future of reproductive rights in America isn’t looking pretty right now, and there seems to be little that we women can do to reverse its course. One NYC woman felt the situation was desperate enough that she tried to make her uterus a bank, since that’s one of the few things the Trump/Pence administration doesn’t seem to be interested in regulating.

Comedian Helene Ellford appears in the video above as the woman in question, pleading her case to a federal regulator. When told she needs to have “billions of dollars” in capital in order to start a bank, Ellford responds by saying she’s sold her eggs, which are worth at least $8,000 each.

“And I have one million eggs left, so that’s eight billion dollars.” (more…)

01/04/17 3:00pm
Here are all the anti-Trump benefits and protests in NYC before Trump's inauguration

Of course it makes sense that this little tyke would break into talk show hosting. via Youtube screengrab

We’re just two and a half weeks out from the day when Trump will become the 45th President of the United States. I know it’s hard to hear. I actually like to write it out a few times, in the hopes that either Beetlejuice or the Candyman will appear to swallow the Cheeto whole. Cheeto, Cheeto, Cheeto. Anyway, since that out is looking less and less likely, all we can do is keep protesting, encouraging our elected officials to voice our concerns where they have clout and hit up a few comedy benefits and fundraisers in between.

With that in mind, here are a bunch of worthwhile events happening from tonight through Inauguration Day in NYC. We’ll keep adding to this list as more come in, but there’s already something here to keep you busy most every night between now and then. Most of these are free and all are affordable, btw, so check out as many as you can if you have the time! (I mean, with the time any of us have left.) (more…)

01/03/17 4:11pm
You could work with this guy to stop Trump in your own stomping grounds of NYC. via Flickr user GirlRay

You could work with this guy to stop Trump in your own stomping grounds of NYC. via Flickr user Girl Ray

2017 is looking up so far (read: no movie stars are dead yet), but there’s still a big orange-haired elephant in the room. And come Jan. 20 that orange-haired elephant is going to go galumph into — as a friend of mine put it so eloquently —  “the china shop of foreign diplomacy” and wreak havoc on our national security.

That is, unless we can set up our own system of checks and balances to prevent him doing so. New York City may remain fairly immune to Trumpism during the president-elect’s germ term. But just in case you’re still looking for a way to fight the power (and we really hope you are), check out this cool job posting for one lucky Brooklynite:

New York City Council Member Brad Lander is seeking a Communications Director to oversee and implement the Councilmember’s communications and media program – in order to serve the people of the 39th District, to resist the threats of the Trump regime to American democratic values and vulnerable constituencies, and to build a more just, inclusive, and sustainable NYC.

You heard right, kids! Councilman Brad Lander, who represents Cobble Hill, Carroll Gardens, Columbia Waterfront, Gowanus, Park Slope, Windsor Terrace, Kensington and Boro Park, most recently notable for mediating negotiations between residents and developers during the Park Slope Key Foods controversy, is now seeking a full-time anti-Trump activist to help make shit happen.

(more…)