05/16/16 11:00am
Yeah, okay, okay, it's really pretty. dumbonyc / Flickr

Yeah, okay, okay, it’s really pretty. dumbonyc / Flickr

The start of summer comes with an influx of pests: mosquitos, pantsplainers, street harassers… and of course tourists, some of whom happen to be your friends and family. As quaint as it can be to show them around and do a few touristy things, it can also be exhausting. There’s no doubt you’ll feel a financial strain within minutes of your first meal out, and a mental strain as try you explain to your beloved out-of-towners that he Rainbow Bagel isn’t worth the hype. But the next time your regularly-scheduled programming is interrupted by someone’s first trip to New York City, and Brooklyn at that, you won’t need to flounder for options, because you can simply take them on our Broketown Tours (TM) journey through DUMBO.

First an underutilized waterfront, then a refuge for artists, Dumbo has shifted from an area with one of the highest rents in the city over the course of just a few decades. So bring it back to its roots and still take in everything it has to offer without being an overcharged dumbo! We’ve put together a roundup of neighborhoods spots and sights that cater to tourists and locals alike in both their hype factors and their price points. Pace yourself and split food, and you can probably do most everything on this list for $20. After all, your tourist friends may only be here for a few days, but you live here, and you’ve still got a ways to go before you can afford your next vacation.  (more…)

05/20/15 4:20pm
Future site of a tourism hotspot. via Google Street View

Future site of a tourism hotspot. via Google Street View

Now that Brooklyn is the kind of place tourists carrying comically large bags of cash want to come and explore, developers are realizing they can make a mint by putting up hotels. Witness the successful Wythe Hotel, or Bklyn House, the Bushwick hotel constructed out of both concrete and nonsensical hip Brooklyn marketing-speak. Or forget those and look the future, where someday soon a hotel will rise on Flushing Avenue and Stewart Avenue. A hotel where tourists will be able to go to the rooftop deck and gaze longingly at the romantic sight that is the Newtown Creek. (more…)

11/03/14 3:48pm


Hey everyone, how’s your Monday going? Mediocre? Well get ready for your day to be ruined. It is with quivering lower lips that we tell you New York Ambassador Taylor Swift–our generation’s Frank Sinatra, Lou Reed, Beastie Boys, Q-Tip rolled into one–won’t be coming to New York for her tour next year. This is like the time we waved to our mom in the audience of our kindergarten Christmas pageant and watched her look the other way. Why would Taylor Swift ditch us right after proclaiming her love? We have some theories… (more…)

10/27/14 11:44am
crumbs bake shop

The new face of New York City. via Facebook

Well, we can’t say we never tried. Despite the fact that we were able to find many, many New York anthems better than “Welcome to New York,” Subway pitchwoman Taylor Swift is now New York city’s “welcome ambassador” for tourism. We’re not mad though. After all, who else was supposed to be named a tourism ambassador, Ed Mullins? (more…)

08/19/14 1:48pm
biking nyc

You would be too if you ever saw one of NYC’s vicious bike bears take someone’s head clean off with one swipe. via Flickr user Michael Mandeberg

When it comes to the mean streets of New York City, we all know that the asphalt is harder than anywhere on Earth, and that our drivers are blinder and meaner than anywhere else. So it was a little baffling that we built a bike sharing service around the idea that tourists would use it, yet here we are, and they’re not using it. Why don’t they use it? According to a new poll, it turns out they’re all terrified of the idea of biking on our streets. (more…)

05/28/14 3:00pm

“Chain link fences.” via Flickr user Eli Duke

Quasi-legal hotel tax dodger AirBnB put together neighborhood guides for people visiting New York. Sure they said they “worked closely” with their community, but that’s still no excuse for Bed-Stuy winding up getting tagged as “unnerving” or Crown Heights being called “rundown.” That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Have you people learned nothing from Vogue?

04/04/14 1:54pm
Oh what, you thought he wasn't going to have a job like this?

Oh what, you thought he wasn’t going to end up with a job like this?

Ever since he was term-limited out of the Borough President’s office, people have been wondering what former BP/Junior’s cheesecake magically brought to life Marty Markowtiz would be doing with his time. And now we have an answer from the New York Observer, who says that Marty has a job in the city’s tourism office. That job? Encouraging people to visit everywhere in New York except for Manhattan. Did you really think the Christmas card was going to be the last we heard of him? (more…)

03/17/14 2:20pm
nyc tourists

Public Enemies Nos. 1 through about 1,000. via Flickr user Dave Kliman

If you’ve got a big city worth living in, you inevitably end up with a bunch of tourists, with their fanny packs and foreign ideas about gun control. And that’s fine, they bring in some money, we get characters like anti-Semitic Elmo and funny Tumblrs. But now city residents are declaring they’ve had enough with the city’s outreach efforts to get tourists to come here. While they aren’t calling for the city to actively discourage tourism, we’re probably pretty close. (more…)

11/15/13 11:46am
anti-semitic elmo

Nous recherchons pour … antisémite Elmo. Avez-vous vu?

Going to a new country can be kind of scary, what with the new languages and customs, strange foods and people ranting at you about Michael Milken and the Girl Scouts of America. Even when people come to the promised land that is America, where nothing bad ever happens, their governments still have some warnings for them, as the Washington Post found. France, for example, tell their vacationing citizens that Times Square isn’t to be trusted. (more…)