We don’t know what Rhinestone Gorilla has to do with narrative stories, but we don’t seem to care either

1. Learn how to rewrite fairytales to avoid the “happily ever after” ending the patriarchy has insisted we go by for years (Monday)

2. Literary wunderkid Karen Russell pops in to Greenlight Books to make you wonder what you’re doing with you life read from her new novel (Monday)

3. Learn to make pretty covers for the books you’re ashamed to be seen reading (Monday)

4. Go to Tea Lounge prepared to tell a story (Tuesday) (more…)

• Tonight: See Woody Allen’s Manhattan on the beach in Coney Island Or, get soused during a theatrical drinking game/excuse to watch six 10-minute plays by TinyRino.

• Tomorrow night: Watch highly skilled storytellers try standup at Tea Lounge. Or make a totebag. (more…)

Until you start your own Tea Lounge, remember that the Park Slope cafe has regular Tuesday night free Skillshare events every month, and tonight’s is one of particular interest to some of you. Tonight’s class is called How to Run a Business As an Artist, and is hosted by Yoshie Okabayashi of ramenandfriends.com, who teaches classes on business skills for artists at the Brooklyn Brainery. And if you don’t think “art” and “business” are ever supposed to meet, we’d like to visit the magical pixieland you live in to taste some of those gumdrop plants and walk down the rainbow boulevard.

Ye olde departed Court Street Tea Lounge. Coming soon to Ohio? Photo via NYMag

Brooklynites of even a few years’ vintage will remember the halcyon days of the Tea Lounge empire, when as many as three outposts of the popular cafe dotted the borough. Yet the cruel winds of economic downturn and real estate forced the branches to close, leaving just the famed cavernous Union Street location in Park Slope. It’s a staple to Slope culture, including local freelancers, musicians and babies that need a place to eat from breasts (hence the nickname “Teat Lounge,” in case you’re new to town). Now the cafe is looking to get into the real money: nationwide franchising! It’s not exactly going to be the next Dunkin Donuts: Fucked in Park Slope interviewed Lounge owner Jonathan Spiel, who said: “We’re selling the concept of community.” FiPS muses some more on whether you can package and export “community” around the world like so much artisanal mayo, but one commenter sums up many feelings about it: “Will you get Baby Shit Dust to sprinkle all over your new Tea Lounge Franchise like the original? Those couches at Tea Lounge? all full of baby shit.” (more…)

Will you put your Jacksons into action?

File this under ideas we’re open to but not sure about. This Saturday (March 24) is National Cash Mob day, which is designed to get people to spend money at local businesses. Amy Cortese, the Brooklyn-based author of Locavesting, is spearheading Brooklyn’s first on-the-spot shopping spree at an as yet undisclosed Park Slope business. To join in, show up at Tea Lounge at 4 p.m. on Saturday with $20 in your pocket to spend at mystery shop, plus a few more if you want to go drinking with the crew afterwards. Our friends at Brooklyn Based have the whole story here.

Ilana Glazer in Shit New Yorkers say: "I don't do Brooklyn"

Remember that Shit New Yorkers say video that caused much guffaws, and some controversy? This month you get to hear the shit straight from the New Yorker’s mouth! Ilana Glazer, who starred in the video with her brother Eliot,, will be the featured storyteller at this month’s I Like You Maude Story slam. It’s part of the monthly free tuesday night series at the Tea Lounge, which starts next week with “Car Truck Boat Train,” a variety show featuring Mendoza and Gameface, and Justin Perez and Michelle Wolf, and continues with a SkillShare how to order wine in a restaurant. See the full schedule below: (more…)

Love don't come for free. Comedy does.

By now, you should know the Tea Lounge holds weekly fun and free events every Tuesday night, including a story telling night hosted by our friend Kerri Doherty from sass-mouthed nabe blog F’d in Park Slope. But a terrible thing happens in February! There’s no show on Feb. 14! Sources tell us this might be because they are creating a holiday out of the Garry Marshall movie for that day. If true, we will report back with a list of cheap things to do that day, if you’re of the coupling variety. Until then, enjoy free comedy and storytelling shows, including guest storyteller Ted Travelstead of Vanity Fair  — and maybe you can holler at some non-baby holding singles in the Lounge while you’re there. (more…)

One of the features of the free weekly Tuesdays at the Tea Lounge series is always the I Like You, Maude story slam, featuring five-minute tales from anyone willing to throw their name into a hat. But how do you get to the point where you can actually tell a good story in public without sending your crowd into a bored Words With Friends diversion? Try another one of the free events: the Tea Lounge and Brooklyn Skillshare will host a workshop on “How to Be a Great Storyteller and Other Useful and Humorous Public Speaking Techniques” next week. Then come back later in the month to try your storytelling chops. See the full schedule below.  (more…)

Tuesdays can also mean booze clues

This month’s lineup of free Tuesday nights at The Tea Lounge features a special holiday guest star: Steve Burns, the original host of Nickelodeon’s Blues Clues! Burns will be appearing as part of the I Like You, Maude story slam Dec. 20. If you’re not sure of why to be excited to hear a story from the former host of a show for toddlers, familiarize yourself with this Burns appearance on The Moth: it’s a tale rich with fake boobs, awkward dates, surprise birthdays and the fickle fame of Nickelodeon. Also this month: a skillshare that follows a collective as it opens a free store, offers free Dumpster diver dinners and answers the question: Can garbage be used to foster community? (more…)

What's your Pet Peeve

It’s a new month and a new Tuesday which means the folks at the Tea Lounge are back with another month of free events to make your early mid week less boring. November’s series starts tonight with an evening of improv featuring players from the PIT, UCB, Gotham City Improv, The Magnet and Second City, plus a Pet Peeve Forum where you can an open mic and five minutes to vent about whatever is on your mind (which in Park Slope is likely pro- or anti-baby issues). And then next week: a skillshare class on crocheting winter accessories! And more! Check the full schedule below: (more…)