03/25/15 11:23am
Photo by Flickr user carnagenyc.

Right? There is, isn’t there? Photo by Flickr user carnagenyc.

Brooklyn may not be where I was born and raised, but eight years, six jobs, five apartments, three ER visits, and one Brooklyn Bridge tattoo later, it’s where I belong. I’ve been in love and had my heart broken here. I’ve trained for a marathon here. I’ve woken up to water bugs crawling out of the drain, dead rodents, and roommates’ random hookups. I’ve made friends, lost friends and attended funerals. I vote here. My nephew was born here. I’ve dipped my toes in the Gowanus, kissed on the Brooklyn Bridge, and volunteered after Hurricane Sandy. Here’s what I’ve learned along the way.  (more…)

02/05/15 4:01pm
Meet your fellow commuter, urinary tract infection bacteria

Meet your fellow commuter, urinary tract infection bacteria

What do you think about when you ride the subway? How crappy your day at work is going to be? How you wish you could somehow break free of the capitalist machine chewing us all up? Something dirty about that really attractive person in the same car as you? Here’s a new thing to think about after you swipe a MetroCard: what specific bacteria were you hanging out with at your station? You can know now, thanks to an interactive map the Wall Street Journal helped put together. (more…)

01/05/15 3:28pm
subway mariachi band

And not just people who perform on the subway! via Flickr user gaspi *yg

As New Yorkers, it’s our god-given right to complain about the subway. It’s late, smells weird, keep breaking down, smells rank, is run by the Rat King’s army of rodent thugs, and oh sweet lord the smell’s getting stronger. The whole getting you from place to place thing is nice though, and as this study from the NYU Rudin Center for Transportation Policy and Management suggests, plays a huge role in your chances of gainful employment. (more…)

12/17/14 3:02pm
crowded subway

These people have been waiting for a train for six days. via Flickr user Russ Allison Loar

As you’ve sat patiently or paced impatiently looking down the tunnel waiting for a train, did you ever think to yourself, “Man, this is taking longer than I feel like it does”? Ordinarily we would say you were just summoning up some persecution in your own mind, but no, it turns out that the MTA really was screwing you over more than usual, because a new report says that a quarter of trains showed up late between October 2013 and October 2014. Too bad your old boss won’t rehire you even though some of those late arrivals weren’t technically your fault. (more…)

Behold: complete, utter isolation. (Photo courtesy of I Quant NY)

This morning, I Quant NY released their ranking of Brooklyn neighborhoods in relation to subway distances. Greenpoint topped the list for having the most apartments the closest to the train, but bear in mind that train is the G. Can we even call the G a train? Is Greenpoint really close to a train at all?

According to I Quant NY though, “The five neighborhoods whose centers are farthest from the subway are Marine Park, Sea Gate, Bergen Beach, Mill Basin, and Mill Island.” And the least convenient home to find your number one spot for showtime dancers is (drumroll, please)… (more…)

10/07/14 10:09am
anti-man spread psa

What’s truly rude is that Philly beat us to it. Photo by Meghan Stephens

We don’t know what it is about dudes and their professed need to sit with legs spread so wide they start taking up two seats at a time on the subway. Yet it happens so often that Saving Room For Cats never seems to run out of material, and amNewYork did an entire report on the shithead behavior. Newsflash: Your balls? Not that big. Yet while we persist in thinking Tumblrs and outraged commuters interviewed in newspapers will make a change, it turns out that Philadelphia is just going with the pure public shaming route, with the above signs plastered on their trolley system. If these PSAs are good enough for Philadelphia, they’re certainly good enough for New York City. (more…)

09/23/14 9:36am
subway delayed

If it felt like it came to this more often than usual last year, that’s because it did. via Flickr user Gene Han

While you were standing on the hot, gross subway platform peering down the tunnel and wondering where the motherfucking cocksucking train was over the past year, you might have wondered if the goddamn train taking so long was merely in your mind. Well, the good news is you’re not crazy, but the bad news is that there was an increase in trains running behind schedule since last August, according to amNewYork. (more…)

07/30/14 1:01pm
2 train

No one cares for you, 2. via Wikipedia

Here’s a quick question: What’s the worst subway line in New York? The answer is usually, “Whichever one you have to ride with a self-styled Lloyd Dobler making eyes at you,” but today we have a different, more scientific answer courtesy of the Straphangers Campaign’s State of the Subways report card. That answer? The 2 train is 2014′s worst subway line in New York. Come on down, 2 train and get your crown made of dead rats, puke and various pieces of garbage! (more…)

06/23/14 1:33pm
subway crime

Trainjackings are much less likely to occur in New York these days, according to the numbers anyway.

Given that they’re isolated, often underground caverns full of garbage and rats, people might be under the impression that subway platforms are a place for crime. Turns out we should put those Warriors-era fears to bed though, because a the Daily News looked at data covering subway crime from 2008 to 2013 and it turns out that unless someone beats you up or robs you at the Broad Channel A station, there hasn’t been a ton of subway crime over the last five years. (more…)

03/05/14 4:06pm
mini metro

It’s hard! Screenshot via author’s terrible attempts

Bitching about the MTA, like being miserable and treating other people like dirt, is every New Yorker’s God-given right. That being said, it’s not like we don’t know that it’s a very difficult thing to do, to run a gigantic subway system, and that’s even before you get a garbage human mayor more interested in raiding transit budgets than supporting them. Even the simple act of making the trains run and connect smoothly is hard, as the addictive and frustrating browser game Mini Metro will show you. (more…)