02/24/15 4:26pm
These numbers used to mean a yankees game was getting out. Now it's just an average weekday underground. via Flickr user Ianqui Doodle.

Subway crowds used to mean a big game was getting out. Now it’s just your average weekday. via flickr user Ianqui Doodle

Guess we didn’t need to invent reasons to dread our morning commute, after all—according to the New York Post, we’re doing just fine making it a living hell on our own. Their recent statistics report a (literally) crushing 113% increase in weekday train delays due to overcrowding last December, mostly due to assholes lack of rider etiquette and that person holding the doors open trying to be the last one to squeeze on the train.  (more…)

01/29/15 1:26pm
l train

Might get so bad you miss this. via Flickr user Ken

Ah spring, season of rebirth, season of hope and coming soon, season of godawful L train shutdowns that will prevent easy access from Brooklyn to Manhattan. Yes that’s right, after already breaking your spirit in the winter, we got a tip, later confirmed by an MTA spokesman, that L train will put you back on the rack in spring, with nine straight weeks of weeknight track work starting March 24 that will shut it down between 8th Avenue and Bedford Avenue. Plus, you get six straight weekends of no L train between 8th Avenue and Bedford Avenue starting April 11. At least the weekend track work might keep Manhattanites out? (more…)

01/22/15 12:47pm
mta fare hike

FEED ME. via Flickr user Eric Fischer

We’ve known for a couple of months now that a fare hike was definitely coming this year, and we’ve also known for sure that it would mean a monthly card was going to be $116.50. Whew that’s a lot of money. Almost enough to buy a bike, hint hint. The one thing we didn’t know for sure whether the base fare for a ride on the train would run you $2.50 or if it would go up to $2.75. Now we know though, and surprise surprise, the MTA picked the more expensive option. (more…)

01/20/15 10:14am

You might first look at this video of rats fighting in the subway tracks in Chinatown and think “Ew, rats, I can’t watch this.” Please do watch it though, because it’s the perfect allegory for the human condition, especially here in New York. One rat is a longtime native of his patch of subway track, defending it from the encroaching other who he thinks will bring weird changes and force him out of his sweet garbage pile. The other rat is young and just trying to make it in this crazy urban jungle and thought he found a pretty good deal. He isn’t gonna just walk away because he’s catching some shit from an older rat.

And as they fight and argue on the tracks of the subway to the strains of ethnic music, both rats are so enthralled with their fight that they can’t even think to look around them, at the dangerous ground they tussle over. They fight and fight, only to be minutes away from being ground up by a hyper-efficient capitalist machine rumbling over and crushing them, ferrying a species with no interest in a sticking around and putting down roots in garbage pile, just moving on to the next place the machine will take them. Both rats, vanished in an instant, with no record of their existence except this one grainy YouTube video.

[h/t Daily Intelligencer] (more…)

12/29/14 3:02pm
manspread

Yes, how else CAN you sit? via the irreplaceable Saving Room for Cats

Manspread. It’s rude and not really defensible, considering, as we’ve gone over, it’s a selfish use of limited public space that is not your living room. So finally the MTA is reminding people, “Hey, don’t do that, it’s rude.” This is apparently a bridge too far for the Daily News editorial board, who parachuted into the debate and barfed a totally unnecessary  “Actually!” into the conversation with their “Confessions of a manspreader.” Actually guys, manspreading is both not bad and just can’t be helped. (more…)

11/20/14 3:10pm
The A/C shut down on the weekends will be the new topic to bitch about at brunch come this spring. (via Flickr user Adam Fagen)

The A/C shut down on the weekends gives you a new topic to bitch about at brunch come this spring. (via Flickr user Adam Fagen)

Add this to the list of hexes you’re putting on your MTA-inspired voodoo doll: Gothamist reports that the tunnel that ferries A and C trains between Brooklyn and Manhattan will be closed for a whopping 40 non-consecutive weekends starting next spring. Hurricane Sandy is the gift that just keeps on giving. (more…)

11/19/14 11:26am
c train

One of the MTA’s many modern C trains that everyone hates for some reason. via Flickr user Mike Knell

Given how tired everyone is of making G train jokes, because come on that’s so 2006 (and the MTA has finally committed to doing something about it), it’s time we all get tired of another train. The Riders Alliance suggests we focus our demands for better service at the city’s second-worst train line, the C train. Obviously some Brokelyn writers might object to the idea, but for the rest of us who’ve stared down the tunnel wondering “Where the fuck is this thing?” as four A trains zoom by on the express track, it seems like as good a time as any to ask the MTA to fix the C. (more…)

08/14/14 8:21am
subway bedbugs

Approximate size of subway bedbugs. via Flicker user bee721

Now, again, we’re not here to gloat when we talk about how New York hasn’t defeated the bedbug menace and never will. We can’t help taking a bit of an itchy victory lap though, now that we’ve got the news from Business Insider that a third damn train line (the 5 also had a bedbug sighting) is crawling with bloodsuckers. And we don’t mean lawyers, ho ho! Seriously though, the 7 train had the creepiest report yet of bedbugs on a train car, so it’s clear that they’ve conquered the subway. (more…)

08/06/14 8:53am
n train

N for “Nope we’re never gonna beat bedbugs.” via Flickr user Brian

Hey, remember when you were all “WOOOOOO it’s V-B Day, we beat bedbugs!” and we were the insane paranoid in the corner talking about how that wasn’t and would never be true? Yeah, you’re gonna pretend you didn’t say that now, because the Daily News reports that bedbugs were found on three N trains this week. See that approaching train? It contains US BEING RIGHT and also the seeds of your destruction. (more…)

07/24/14 4:17pm
confusing subway sign

#NotAllGTrains. Photo by David Colon

Remember that time you thought the G train was running between Brooklyn and Queens before midnight on Saturday but you couldn’t figure out if 12am meant Sunday or Saturday or which week you were even supposed to avoid the train and when and where the alternate shuttle service would run if it even decided to show up?  Yeah. Every. Single. Day. Well, someone has finally got around to studying the issue and turns out they agree with you, subway signs and announcements can be a little confusing! (more…)