Someone in here is getting down in a very rude manner
Where is New York City’s loudest sex happening? It’s a question that’s theorists have wrestled with for ages. You might have guessed it’s happening somewhere in the Brooklyn Bone Belt, but new research unveiled by DNA Info today shows that’s the incorrect answer. It turns out that answer does lie in Brooklyn though, with a lascivious couple in Bay Ridge making life so hard for their neighbors with their loud, constant fucking that it’s led to six complaint calls to 311 in just three months, which is tops in the city for that very specific complaint. Really puts a new spin on Bay Ridge’s new reputation as “up and coming.” (more…)
We all know what it is to wake up next to someone the morning after getting down, see them lying there, and panic. Regardless of whether the person sharing the bed is a familiar face or a total stranger, a winter-warmer or a one-night stand, it’s safe to say that we’re always faced with the same decision: should we “ghost” outta there, or stick around until they wake up?
If you’re suddenly getting images of a partially-nude Patrick Swayze, let us clarify the term (hint: you’re not entirely off-base). “Ghosting” is the Brokelyn-approved slang for fleeing the scene of a sexual encounter the following morning, leaving no trace of your presence from the night before. Straightforward enough, right? The thing is, not all of us agree about whether the sleek, cat-like disappearance of a sexual partner is a good or bad tactic to employ. In fact, two of our resident writers land at opposite poles on the topic. Here, Gabby “The Vapor” Westfield and Sam “The Billboard” Corbin go head to head to defend their morning-after techniques. Whose side of the bed are YOU on? (more…)
It’s kind a bummer that now that we’re adults, people are less into the idea of giving us free stuff in exchange for dressing as Superman or Aquaman or Slutty Jon Stewart on Halloween, but we guess that’s just part of life. What’s this though? Babeland in Park Slope (462 Bergen Street) is getting into the spirit of the holiday tomorrow, giving away vibrators to the first 25 people who show up the the store tomorrow. You don’t have to show up in a costume, but there’s a potential reward in it. (more…)
Just because you’re broke, doesn’t mean you can’t look cool or sexy on Halloween. All illustrations by Shaylyn Berlew
Halloween is a sexy time. And no, I’m not referring to the stupid store-bought costumes. I mean it more like people can get in touch with a different part of their personality, put on a mask, and act the fool with people in various states of bloody, gothic, or otherwise ornate undress. But since you’re reading Brokelyn, I can only imagine your costume budget comes up a few digits south of a period-appropriate musketeer or Marie Antoinette outfit. However, there’s no reason a brokester needs to compromise his or her seductiveness just to pay the rent come November 1.
So, herewith, I present to you some rock-solid, wallet-friendly, DIY costumes and apropos sexual innuendos to say while wearing them. Just make sure to be safe, don’t eat too much candy corn (serious bloating action there), and have a ghoulishly good time come Friday night. (more…)
There’s gonna be a lot of stiff competition for the job
Well, here it is, the job you’ve been preparing for your entire life, thanks to your rampant weed smoking and promiscuity: weed-friendly web magazine Cannabist is looking for someone to be their stoned sex columnist. “I’ve had sex! I’ve smoked pot!” you’re yelling to everyone in your office/at the coffee shop. “Sometimes I’ve even done them together!” Well yes, congratulations, you’re cool and not a virgin. Can you give people good sex advice though, beyond “slow, rhythmic clitoral stimulation”? (more…)
Okay sure, so Eastern Europe is acting like Legos and NASA recently predicted the end of life as we know it. But we don’t need to deal with that right now, guys! Apparently, the most pressing issue on the minds of this generation is more like: why are we having less sex? Across the pond, The Guardian recently published the results of a study conducted at the University College of London, which claims to have found a steady two-decade decrease in young people fucking.
When you’re out at the bar, or at the club, or at the dance party trying to get your goose fed, do you keep in mind that you should wrap that shit up? Be honest, this is a safe space. Also, we know you’re lying if you said that of course you do, because the Department of Health’s Community Health Survey for 2012 released its numbers a few months back, and 68.2% of the whole city said they didn’t use a condom when they last had sex. The leader of the pack? Greenpoint, where a staggering 85.8% of people decide to throw caution to the wind. (more…)
This is happening at a house in Brooklyn. Well, with people, no ninja turtles. via Flickr user novocainstain
It’s winter, and it’s as bad a winter as we’ve had in a while. So the best way to deal with it is finding warmth in the arms of another person. Or maybe two dozen people, because it’s turns out there’s a SECRET SEX HOUSE somewhere in Brooklyn that holds secret sex parties once a month. You guys can have your outrage about $7 lattes. We want to know why we haven’t been invited to the goddamn sex house. (more…)
Who says the Health Department doesn’t have a sense of humor?
While it can be easy to get STDs around here, the New York City Department of Health does their darndest to make sure you don’t pick up something like electric gonorrhea (the noisy killer) by giving out free condoms pretty much anywhere. Of course, just because you make a condom free doesn’t mean people are gonna use it, so the DOH is appealing to your vanity by introducing a magnum-sized Kyng condom this summer. You can sure as shit bet that high school kids are gonna be all over these. (more…)