Okay sure, so Eastern Europe is acting like Legos and NASA recently predicted the end of life as we know it. But we don’t need to deal with that right now, guys! Apparently, the most pressing issue on the minds of this generation is more like: why are we having less sex? Across the pond, The Guardian recently published the results of a study conducted at the University College of London, which claims to have found a steady two-decade decrease in young people fucking.
When you’re out at the bar, or at the club, or at the dance party trying to get your goose fed, do you keep in mind that you should wrap that shit up? Be honest, this is a safe space. Also, we know you’re lying if you said that of course you do, because the Department of Health’s Community Health Survey for 2012 released its numbers a few months back, and 68.2% of the whole city said they didn’t use a condom when they last had sex. The leader of the pack? Greenpoint, where a staggering 85.8% of people decide to throw caution to the wind. (more…)
This is happening at a house in Brooklyn. Well, with people, no ninja turtles. via Flickr user novocainstain
It’s winter, and it’s as bad a winter as we’ve had in a while. So the best way to deal with it is finding warmth in the arms of another person. Or maybe two dozen people, because it’s turns out there’s a SECRET SEX HOUSE somewhere in Brooklyn that holds secret sex parties once a month. You guys can have your outrage about $7 lattes. We want to know why we haven’t been invited to the goddamn sex house. (more…)
Who says the Health Department doesn’t have a sense of humor?
While it can be easy to get STDs around here, the New York City Department of Health does their darndest to make sure you don’t pick up something like electric gonorrhea (the noisy killer) by giving out free condoms pretty much anywhere. Of course, just because you make a condom free doesn’t mean people are gonna use it, so the DOH is appealing to your vanity by introducing a magnum-sized Kyng condom this summer. You can sure as shit bet that high school kids are gonna be all over these. (more…)
It especially endorses it if you’re as attractive as these two
Even after Valentine’s Day leaves us, your life probably still going to be occurring in a swamp of hormones and the occasional confusing sexual encounter with a friend. Hell, maybe even four or five sexual encounters with a friend. And while you might be wondering if you should be getting your kinda-friend, kinda-sex pixie a valentine, you shouldn’t worry about continuing to have sex with them. Because science has spoken, and found that even dumb college kids can still be friends after crossing the line with each other. The naked line. (more…)
Vegans! Those guys have all the luck, what with their “feckless Brooklyn guy” shtick being so popular with the ladies, and their excuse about not using condoms (“Oh it was made with animal cruelty) being impossible to argue with. But girls, next time some V-neck clad lothario who’s not down with the pork tries to pull a fast one on you, you’ll be prepared. with Glyde’s vegan-friendly condoms, thanks to this Groupon. Because he should be wrapped up in more than your love. (more…)
The middle of Brooklyn is your warp zone to the Bone Zone, it seems. via HowAboutWe
It’s getting colder, and that can only mean one thing: finding that special convenient guy or girl to trap in your emotional net to be your winter’s bone. But where are you supposed to go to find The One Until Things Thaw? The folks at HowAboutWe took a look at some data from the Community Health Survey and put together this handy sex map to see what neighborhoods are pretending to be bunny rabbits the most. Their verdict? Head to Crown Heights. (more…)
Dog here, to help you with any sex questions you might have. via Facebook
20th birthdays are, for the most part, a bunch of crap. Not because there’s anything wrong with the people who are turning 20, but because it finds you wandering that weird desert between 18 and 21. But leave it to sex havers Babeland to do something worthwhile for their 20th birthday: the price on their class for everything they’ve learned about great sex these past twenty years is just ten bucks. So if you want to know something about sex, don’t be afraid to ask. (more…)
When it’s time to end it with someone, you’ve got a couple options. You can a four page letter laying out your relationship history and why it needs to end. You could meet at a bar and give the “Let’s just be friends” speech. You could call her and tell her you need to break off the engagement. And now, you can use an app that will write a breakup text for you, because apparently we’re all heartless monsters. (more…)
We’ve been having a pretty good time watching “religious values” flounder in the face of a little thing called the Constitution today, and also we found a sex swing on the Internet, so this just takes the cake: comedy folk duo Garfunkel and Oates have released a song parodying the no-sex-before-marriage quandary titled, “The Loophole,” about how Christian girls turn to anal sex to (technically) maintain their virginity. It’s just as amazing as it sounds. See for yourself below, though be warned, it’s pretty NSFW:
“Thank you for making me holy. And thank you for giving me holes to choose from.”