jimmyjane bullet

Way, way better than fun-size Jujubees

It’s kind a bummer that now that we’re adults, people are less into the idea of giving us free stuff in exchange for dressing as Superman or Aquaman or Slutty Jon Stewart on Halloween, but we guess that’s just part of life. What’s this though? Babeland in Park Slope (462 Bergen Street) is getting into the spirit of the holiday tomorrow, giving away vibrators to the first 25 people who show up the the store tomorrow. You don’t have to show up in a costume, but there’s a potential reward in it. (more…)

10/29/14 10:41am
diy halloween costumes

Just because you’re broke, doesn’t mean you can’t look cool or sexy on Halloween. All illustrations by Shaylyn Berlew

Halloween is a sexy time. And no, I’m not referring to the stupid store-bought costumes. I mean it more like people can get in touch with a different part of their personality, put on a mask, and act the fool with people in various states of bloody, gothic, or otherwise ornate undress. But since you’re reading Brokelyn, I can only imagine your costume budget comes up a few digits south of a period-appropriate musketeer or Marie Antoinette outfit. However, there’s no reason a brokester needs to compromise his or her seductiveness just to pay the rent come November 1.

So, herewith, I present to you some rock-solid, wallet-friendly, DIY costumes and apropos sexual innuendos to say while wearing them. Just make sure to be safe, don’t eat too much candy corn (serious bloating action there), and have a ghoulishly good time come Friday night. (more…)

10/16/14 12:03pm
morning-after pill

You can avoid this scene for half the price now

Have you ever had a great night of fucking and then when you wake up realize you didn’t use a condom? Ever have a mediocre night of fucking and have that realization? Do you live in Greenpoint, the land of no condoms? Well good news! A new website is offering to sell and deliver you emergency contraception for $25 total, which is half the price you can get it at a pharmacy. (more…)

09/17/14 9:33am
cannabist sex columnist

There’s gonna be a lot of stiff competition for the job

Well, here it is, the job you’ve been preparing for your entire life, thanks to your rampant weed smoking and promiscuity: weed-friendly web magazine Cannabist is looking for someone to be their stoned sex columnist. “I’ve had sex! I’ve smoked pot!” you’re yelling to everyone in your office/at the coffee shop. “Sometimes I’ve even done them together!” Well yes, congratulations, you’re cool and not a virgin. Can you give people good sex advice though, beyond “slow, rhythmic clitoral stimulation”? (more…)

03/20/14 9:04am
cruel intentions

See, there were sexless Gen-X couples also

Okay sure, so Eastern Europe is acting like Legos and NASA recently predicted the end of life as we know it. But we don’t need to deal with that right now, guys! Apparently, the most pressing issue on the minds of this generation is more like: why are we having less sex? Across the pond, The Guardian recently published the results of a study conducted at the University College of London, which claims to have found a steady two-decade decrease in young people fucking.

(more…)

02/21/14 10:09am
nyc condom

“Huh? What stash” – Greenpoint

When you’re out at the bar, or at the club, or at the dance party trying to get your goose fed, do you keep in mind that you should wrap that shit up? Be honest, this is a safe space. Also, we know you’re lying if you said that of course you do, because the Department of Health’s Community Health Survey for 2012 released its numbers a few months back, and 68.2% of the whole city said they didn’t use a condom when they last had sex. The leader of the pack? Greenpoint, where a staggering 85.8% of people decide to throw caution to the wind. (more…)

02/17/14 12:53pm
orgy

This is happening at a house in Brooklyn. Well, with people, no ninja turtles. via Flickr user novocainstain

It’s winter, and it’s as bad a winter as we’ve had in a while. So the best way to deal with it is finding warmth in the arms of another person. Or maybe two dozen people, because it’s turns out there’s a SECRET SEX HOUSE somewhere in Brooklyn that holds secret sex parties once a month. You guys can have your outrage about $7 lattes. We want to know why we haven’t been invited to the goddamn sex house. (more…)

02/14/14 3:44pm
nyc condoms

Who says the Health Department doesn’t have a sense of humor?

While it can be easy to get STDs around here, the New York City Department of Health does their darndest to make sure you don’t pick up something like electric gonorrhea (the noisy killer) by giving out free condoms pretty much anywhere. Of course, just because you make a condom free doesn’t mean people are gonna use it, so the DOH is appealing to your vanity by introducing a magnum-sized Kyng condom this summer. You can sure as shit bet that high school kids are gonna be all over these. (more…)

02/13/14 1:59pm
frends with benefits

It especially endorses it if you’re as attractive as these two

Even after Valentine’s Day leaves us, your life probably still going to be occurring in a swamp of hormones and the occasional confusing sexual encounter with a friend. Hell, maybe even four or five sexual encounters with a friend. And while you might be wondering if you should be getting your kinda-friend, kinda-sex pixie a valentine, you shouldn’t worry about continuing to have sex with them. Because science has spoken, and found that even dumb college kids can still be friends after crossing the line with each other. The naked line. (more…)

12/17/13 9:59am
glyde condoms

And we’re glad glad glad that you use Glyde

Vegans! Those guys have all the luck, what with their “feckless Brooklyn guy” shtick being so popular with the ladies, and their excuse about not using condoms (“Oh it was made with animal cruelty) being impossible to argue with. But girls, next time some V-neck clad lothario who’s not down with the pork tries to pull a fast one on you, you’ll be prepared. with Glyde’s vegan-friendly condoms, thanks to this Groupon. Because he should be wrapped up in more than your love. (more…)