09/04/15 2:13pm
Even worse, they have a series of parties in the yard called Tiki Siesta. via Facebook

Even worse, they have a series of parties in the yard called Tiki Siesta. via Facebook

Let’s say, hypothetically, you’re interested in opening a pizza place but you’re not very creative. Sadly, the Brooklyn Bar Menu Generator can’t help you with the menu or name here, because it doesn’t deal in pizza. On the other hand, people love Roberta’s, so why not just name your pizza place Roberta’s? Great, good plan, no one will ever even think to check if the actual people who own the rights to a pizza place called Roberta’s would mind. And anyway, you’re in Spain and it’s not like there’s a global communication infrastructure in place that would provide a way for someone to quickly find out that you’re using material that belongs to the Brooklyn Roberta’s. You’re home free!

Oh…wait…there is a global communication infrastructure that allowed the actual Roberta’s to see you’re using their name and publicity materials for your fake, Spanish Roberta’s. Well, shit, now what? (more…)

07/29/15 7:58am
tk

Stare at this picture of Alf long enough and you realize he’s kind of horrifying

I’ve got a friend who claims he was so excited about today being Wednesday, last night he said “Nice, tomorrow’s Wednesday” out loud, to no one. I can’t say I’m that excited that it’s Wednesday, but it’s better than some of the other days of the week. It also has so many good things going on that recommending just five from the Brokelyn Event Calendar was kind of mentally painful. I mean, not that painful, let’s not be silly here. It was just tough to pick only five things today. (more…)

03/11/15 2:45pm
On one hand, you get to be around these all day, but on the other, you can't eat all of them. Via Roberta's Pizza

On one hand, you get to be around these all day, but on the other, you can’t eat all of them. Via Roberta’s Pizza

Hello, residents of Brokelandia, and welcome to another edition of Now Hiring! I’ve recently heard word that a strange new season is coming about, one that doesn’t involve ice rain and blizzards and might actually be pleasant, and while your old job was “good enough” in that it had heating and you were sitting too close to Carroll from H.R., but she runs hot so it’s okay, when these precious few weeks of perfection come along, you’ll want the perfect career to go with them. While “perfect” may mean many things to many different people, we here at Brokelyn have put together a list with a little something for everyone, from the gym-bro to the number-cruncher, so read below and find out what your new best job ever is going to be. (more…)

Because life doesn't get much better than this. (via Flickr user smallkaa)

Because life doesn’t get much better than this. (via Flickr user smallkaa)

Step aside Romeo & Juliet, everyone knows that pizza & beer are history’s REAL star-crossed lovers. Way less tragic and infinitely more cheesy, nothing quite satisfies like a slice and a cold one, especially when we’re talking about Bushwick heavyweight Roberta’s December pop-up at Threes Brewing‘s brand new 8,000 square-foot Gowanus brewpub(more…)

09/10/14 11:27am
Time 2 learn

Time 2 learn

If you’re suffering the wave of back-to-school nostalgia that Target commercials and Old Navy window displays forces on the post-grad crowd, you’re not alone. You may be done shopping for dorm supplies (take a minute to celebrate never needing a shower caddy again) and composition books may never be in your life again, but you’re never too old to continue learning.

College classes are tempting, and expensive, to broaden your education, but there are plenty of university-less classes in New York that will teach you valuable, and practical lessons, like new languages, how to further your career, make a ceramic bowl, code an app, and much more, and you shouldn’t have to take out any loans to do it! Plus, you may learn a new marketable skill. Etsy always has room for another liberal arts grad… (more…)

05/20/14 9:23am
tiki disco

The summer this won’t happen. Photo by Kenny Rodriguez via Facebook

We’re all rightfully excited about the summer, and the rebirth of outdoor fun in the city for a few months. Sadly, there’ll be one summer tradition that’s hanging up its viking helmet and beer bong, as after five years, Tiki Disco won’t be returning to the Roberta’s garden. It leaves an enormous speaker-sized hole in our hearts, but the summer must go on. (more…)

11/01/13 10:33am
Handjob Academy

Hand Job Academy is ready to teach, if you’re ready to learn

1. It’s the Day of the Dead, and what better place to celebrate it than Greenwood Park, the bar next to the cemetery? All the ghouls and gals will be there! (Friday)

2. Or if you want to potentially avoid offending an unfriendly ghost, you can celebrate the day at Trophy Bar. But ghosts do travel fast (Friday)

3. Hand Job Academy is a group of female comedians/rappers performing at Union Hall, but let’s be honest: you just wanna get advice because you failed Grip Tech in 9th grade (Friday)

4. Check out some bands playing as The Clash, The Cure, The Police and Joan Jett for Halloween. We saw the actual Police a few years ago and wish we saw a cover band (Friday) (more…)

10/16/13 3:55pm
Here's what you'll be up against if you enter Crest's pumpkin carving contest. via Crest Hardware

Here’s what you’ll be up against if you enter Crest’s pumpkin carving contest. via Crest Hardware

Every year as Halloween sneaks up, I feel blindsided by my time-sensitive inability to find plans I’m excited about for the Big Night. Halloween seems to validate its overrated place in the holiday pantheon every year, but 2013 will be different! No more noobs puking on my shoes or cramped, terrible parties where I get crushed between a drunk slutty nurse and a guy in a homemade Rubik’s cube costume who is really regretting his decision.

No! This year, my friends, I seek to get back to the basics: Pumpkins. Horror. Costumes. Monsters. Awesome people. PRIZES. Take a gander at your options for a fun, entertaining, and memorable All Hallow’s Eve: (more…)

08/27/13 1:16pm
Emily Elsen, of Four & Twenty Blackbirds, will talk about pie, and you can eat pie. Win/win. via Facebook

Emily Elsen, of Four & Twenty Blackbirds, will talk about pie, and you can eat pie. Win/win. via Facebook

As Mr. Show, the cronut and the ramen burger have taught us, there’s nothing people who like food like more than combining foods. The people who run Greenlight Books are no fools, so they’re combining food with books this fall in an orgy of delicious reading that fortunately doesn’t actually involve eating paper from books. But they are hosting a slew of food-based events by partnering up with chefs at Smorgasburg, starting a cookbook club with discounted cookbooks and a series of readings at the store from chefs discussing their cookbooks and handing out samples of food. Looks like you’ll be paying a lot less to eat this fall. (more…)

07/05/13 2:29pm
Has this ever worked for anyone?

Has this ever worked for anyone?

1. Out of 25,000 photographs he took between 2005 and 2010, photographer Robert Madruga is displaying only 25 for an exhibit in Gowanus. Try not to think about all the photos you don’t see (Friday)

2. The Brick Theater is hosting an intersection of video games and performance art. We’re thinking Lara Croft delivering a piece from the Vagina Monologues, but we’re probably wrong (Friday)

3. Wasabassco Burlesque invites you to the Bell House to keep celebrating America the only way they know how to: with asses everywhere you look (Friday)

4. Mellow Pages moved over to a space that’s much, much larger than their old one, so they’re inviting you over to celebrate it. No readings, just hanging (Friday) (more…)