It was Christmas Eve night down in old Park Slope,
The stockings were hung and they looked pretty dope.
There was a nip in the air, some frost on the ground,
The bodegas stayed open, selling whitefish by the pound.
All the strollers were parked, all the yoga mats rolled,
Elves on Shelves posed for iPhones (that shit’s Facebook gold).
Folks here do all right, if you know what I mean.
They’d left out enough kale chips to turn Santa’s poops green.
But up in her brownstone, Sally Jones sat awake,
With a sense of foreboding she just couldn’t shake.
She’d turned off CNN, closed her browsers with a click,
Then to no one in particular said, “2016 can suck a dick!” (more…)
Park Slope Santa prefers gluten-free cookies and almond milk. Via Park Slope Fifth Avenue BID
Thinking about tree lightings in New York often triggers memories of that one time you intentionally (or unintentionally) got swallowed up by the tourist mosh pit around the Rockefeller Center tree. That’s not something you ever want to do again.
The Park Slope 5th Avenue Business Improvement District (BID) has the Brooklyn-based antidote. At their annual Small Business Saturday event, they will be lighting a (real) 22 ft. tall Christmas tree with yards on yards on yards of lights that you won’t need an electrical engineering degree to appreciate. The ceremony is from 6:30 p.m to 8 p.m. at JJ Byrne Park, at 5th Ave. and 4th Street, smack dab in the middle of events and discounts all up and down the avenue. And unlike a tree you keep in your fifth-floor walk-up, you won’t have to deal with mouse poop “presents” under the tree or thinking too deeply about the decaying object in your living room. (more…)
The Undone Sweaters closed out the Rock Shop’s live music era last night. Photo by Aaron Benoit/Brokelyn.
Rock and roll is here to stay, but just maybe not in Park Slope. The Rock Shop, a two-level live music venue and sports bar on Fourth Avenue that opened in 2010, will no longer host live music, performers and a representative from the bar confirmed last night. Instead, it will pivot to becoming a bar with a game room. Last night’s performance by Weezer cover band the Undone Sweaters and comedy country group The Reformed Whores was the farewell show for the venue.
“The Rock Shop is NOT closing, we just will not be having anymore live music,” a representative from the bar, who did not identify themselves, emailed Brokelyn last night. “The first floor will be converted into a bar with pool tables, pinball machines, and foosball table.”
The bar upstairs — which has a restaurant, roof deck and ample TVs — will remain open while the first floor is renovated, with a goal of reopening in September, the rep said.
The change marked the closing of yet another concert space in increasingly live-music starved Park Slope.
“It makes me sad because this was a place I used to go to and frequent a bunch and see cool bands,” Danny Tamberelli, a member of the Undone Sweaters (who you also know as Little Pete from Pete & Pete) told Brokelyn after the show last night. “It’s the only small room in this neighborhood of Brooklyn where it sounds good and it’s big enough to have a rock show, and they take all kinds. It’s not too snooty or particular. It’s a damn shame.” (more…)
At j’eatjet it’s more like moremosa, Photo by Dave Rosado
[We updated this list for January 2016 and added some new spots so everything is up to date!-ed.]
Brunch: it’s that magical meal that’s somehow both over- AND underrated. It’s a great way to start a weekend or coast through a Sunday morning hangover, a meal where you can order a boozy drink and loudly proclaim “It’s five o’clock somewhere, right? Who cares? It’s brunch o’clock here!” to the hearty enjoyment of nobody, because come on. Brunch can also be expensive, as day drinking is apparently a fancy affair once you introduce a fruit cup to the occasion.
Still, there’s no need to be one of the five richest kings of Europe to get your boozy brunch on. Instead of buying a sixer of Milwaukee’s Best to drink alongside some hastily-made scrambled eggs at home, class it up by heading to these eighteen restaurants (!) which offer the best Brooklyn unlimited brunch drink specials. (more…)
Okay it’s finally Thursday, and the first hellish full week you’ve had in two weeks is finally basically over. Man that was difficult. You know, you deserve a drink for getting through that, or at least a fun night out. The Brokelyn Events Calendar is full of ways to have one or the other or even both so that when you go in to work on Friday you can be properly hungover and get your Friday non-effort in perfectly. (more…)
Rock the mic tonight, the way you’ve always wanted to. via Flickr user Nev Brown
Hello out there, and welcome to another Monday Funday. It’s the very last Monday of 2015, so you’re probably taking stock of what kind of year you’ve had. Have you gone out and gotten drunk enough this year? Have you taken in enough culture? Sang your lungs out enough at karaoke or at shows? If you haven’t, you probably haven’t been paying close enough attention to the Brokelyn Events Calendar. You can still fix it by checking out some great things listed on it tonight, so get out there and make the last Monday a great one. (more…)
The year is so far gone, but you’ve got one last chance for a Drake party. Illustration by Oli Holmes, via Complex
Okay guys, here we go, Christmas Eve Eve, the last full day of the week and it’s only Wednesday. Get through this one and you’re pretty much home free until next week. Unless of course your situation in life requires that you work on Christmas or being around your family feels like a job. I can’t help you in either case there, but when I can do is look at the Brokelyn Events Calendar and find you some fun stuff to do tonight, whether this is the end of your week or just another day. (more…)
Say goodbye to 2015 in style at any of these great parties. via Facebook
There are only a few more days of 2015 left! Whether you are filled with hope, melancholy or dread for the upcoming year, don’t let the old one go out with a whimper. Even if you didn’t get invited to any killer house parties this year, you don’t have to schlep into Manhattan to find an awesome party. From booze to burlesque and food to fireworks, there are plenty of Brooklyn New Year’s Eve events and activities in every neighborhood to fit any-sized budget. (more…)
Proof they can co-exist in one place. via Flickr user Zervas
We’re one more day closer to Christmas, and you can really see it on the Brokelyn Events Calendar, where it seems totally inescapable. Eh, that’s alright, because you’re one day closer to the end of a short week, and then there’s a short week after that. So when you think about it, you kind of get two Christmas miracles. Anyway, go out and have fun tonight, because it’s December and it’s warm and who knows when this will happen again (maybe forever, but we’ll figure that out later). (more…)
It’s Wednesday baby, “The Fulcrum of The Week!” For myself and other here at Brokelyn, it’s even closer to the end of the week than usual though, because we’re planning on making Friday a hangover convalescence day for our giant horrible hangover from our awesome party (now with Crystal Pepsi). You should plan that too, and with that knowledge in hand, find something great to do tonight. Fortunately, the Brokelyn Events Calendar has a bunch of great things to do. Pretty cool how that works, tbh. (more…)